Today and Stuff

I'm so tired.

Obviously from my entry last night, you can all imagine it was a rough one indeed, so I ran on about 3 hours of quality sleep after venting to Dear Shane until the wee hours of the morning.

So this morning at the bank, I had a breakdown, got sent home early, came home and just crashed until about 1 when Ross woke me up with heart shaped pancakes (am actually not a huge pancake fan, but who can resist them in the shape of hearts?).

Had to work at Hallmark this afternoon, so I hopped on the bus and made my way to work.

Drew the conclusion I am a Cougar in training, due to me making eyes at the hot little punk kid with the green hair and the pierced eyebrow. To be fair, he was making eyes back and it's always a little nice to be validated. Besides.. he's probably graduating this year or something.. that's not so wrong is it?

Anyway.. after the mental undressing (I'm chewing ice here, I'm so damn hard up!), I got to work about 5 minutes late and discovered I got to work with the oh-so-alterna Adam, who I discovered early in my shift, is also gay.

I don't think I'm capable of meeting straight men anymore!

Anyway.. the shift flew by with us just talking and rearranging scrapbooks.

Call me a dork or what you will, but I think I'm going to start scrapbooking as a hobby.. I need a flippin' hobby already!

Umm.. what else?

I'm tired.. so I'm boring and I really think I should just go to bed. So I will.

What the hell do I do?

How the hell do you handle a grown guy who acts like a child?

What do you do when someone you used to call a really close friend starts taking advantage of you in every possible way, and then comes through with absolutely no respect for you or the things you love, to boot?

When they talk about you behind your back, but don't have the balls to say anything to your face about it, and then act like the biggest suckup the day after, maybe out of guilt.

What do you do when he's obviously aware of how badly he's manipulated the situation to meet his own needs, but seems almost incapable of caring? Or too self-centered?

What is the point in retaining a friendship where it's always more take than give, you can't trust them anymore because everything they tells you seems falsified, they make excuses for every bad move they make instead of admitting they were wrong and the relationship gives you more bad feelings than good?

Or what about a friendship where that person needs you to be there to build them up when they feel shitty or need help, but can never reciprocate when you need the help or strength? When that person feels the guy they met a week ago matters more to them than a 7 year friendship does?

Doesn't seem worth it to me.

You're kidding me, right?

My friend Kat forwarded me this from The Smoking Gun today.

Apparently this demented jackass in Iowa drew up a contract of 'wifely expectations' for his wife to follow.

If you've got 10 minutes to blow, click here.

More Memery

Name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head..
Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people.

1. My Mom
2. Corey
3. Ross
4. Lachlan
5. Tammy
6. Wayne
7. Trinity
8. Corina
9. Ola
10. Tracy
11. Erik
12. Adrian
13. Melissa
14. Travis
15. Ashley
16. Kayla
17. Ryan
18. Jesse
19. Kyle
20. Craig
21. Dustin

(That's retarded, I really had to think of 21 people)

Q: How did you meet 14?
Through a friend of a friend at a party in Pouce Coupe, we talked about his dog, Jeb for like an hour and then did shots until we couldn't see straight.


Q: What would you have to do to see 10?
Fly to Moose Jaw


Q: What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
That would be odd, especially since her and I have a long running pact not to date the other's exes.

Q: Would 21 and 12 make a good couple?
Umm.. might not be so surprising considering how many gay men I know, but would be slightly disturbing and I think they're both too macho.

Q: Describe 6:
Gave him my heart, he rejected it. Love and learn.

Q: Do you think 19 is attractive?
I think Pumpkin is adorable, but I'm not attracted to him.

Q: Tell me something humiliating about 17:
Ry's ever done anything overly embarrasing. All my Ryan stories involve something stupid I did, usually while being drunk. Although he did 'come out of the closet' at his birthday, and we have pictures to prove it.

Q: Do you know any of 4's family members?
Nada

Q: What would you do if 18 just confessed they liked you?
Be extremely confused.. but slightly flattered. He's the queen of my queens!

Q: when's the last time you talked to 13?
Holy hell.. almost a year ago now that I think about it. I smell a pub crawl coming on.

Q: What is 2's favorite band?
Corey's musical tastes vary by the day. I don't think he has one.

Q: Would you ever date 5?
No.. she's too high maintanence. :)

Q: Is 11 single?
Yes, he is.

Q: Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 16?
Nope.. Kayla's not my type. :)

Q: Where does 15 live?
Tucson, Arizona :(

Q: Are number 7 & 8 best friends?
My brother and my surrogate sister have never met, sadly.

Q: Do you like 1?
She's my Ma.. acourse I like her. :)

Q: Thoughts on 3?
I adore my Rossy.. scabies and all. :)

Break-up season?

Just spent 1/2 an hour consoling a friend who just broke up with his girlfriend.

Whilst counselling him, I was checking my lavalife profile for messages, and I have 2 new IMs from guys. Both of them display a picture with a female arm in view, and the rest of the body blanked out. Makes me wonder two things.. a) Either it's the only good picture of you in existence, and you're actually ugly, or b) You only broke up last week, and haven't had a chance to get another picture.

Get a clue, gents.

1100 Songs

My playlist now contains 1100 songs, the most recent being 'Hundred Million' by Treble Charger.

Just felt the need to mention it.

The Weekend

Well, as I said, Friday I quit my part-time job at Hallmark due to a horrid coworker.

The entire shift I was made to feel like an imbecile, a halfwit, a know-nothing, and after coming off a day shift at CIBC, I couldn't take it, so halfway through my shift I walked out. I went to the other store, asked the guy how anyone could handle working with her, and was told that 'No one can, that's why we all work at this store'.

I came home, irrate, upset and called my mom who always manages to calm me down.

After I got off the phone with her, I checked my voicemail to be greeted by not one, but two voicemails from my boss at Hallmark giving me three numbers to call her back at ASAP to find out what happened.

I put it off until yesterday afternoon, when I was rushing to get ready, just got her voicemail so I left a message and then Ross, Lachlan and I left to go to the concert.

Good night. We got there extra early to make sure we would get good spots, and ended up playing in the arcade for an hour or two.

Red's took out Outrun 2, which now just leaves the Highrun Club in Capilano as the only place left to go play my game.

Lachlan and I played another car racing game though, and of course I won. Like there's any doubt. :)

We grabbed some food from the food court, since the restaurant in Red's was packed to capacity and then came back to wait for Ross' mom, Chantel, and her friend to show.

They didn't show up until about quarter to 10, and by then 'Looker' was up on stage with the opening act. They're a cover band for the most part, and I had a lot of fun belting out the songs I remember from road trips with the parental units.

Chantel, her friend Joanne, and I went outside for some nicotine just before their last song started, and I had to sneak them back in since they avoided the reduced cover that came with the promo tix we got. That was easy enough though. I had on an amazing lowcut art deco shirt that I rediscovered in a bag of clothes that used to be too small for me (Yay for losing weight!), and I did look amazing last night. The bouncer stared at my chest while I asked him about the Bo Diddly concert coming up, and Chantel and Joanne scooted inside.

When the Jeff Healey Band came onstage, a roar went up in the crowd for the amazing blind guitarist namesake of the band, and we all settled in to some good blues.

Some annoying fat latino chick kept wandering back and forth to stop in front of people and sway while narrowly missing gouging out your eyes with her sausage fingers, so that was fun.

Also the barhags with the Aquanet-ted hair in front of us, yelling 'I love you, Jeff!', and the drunk guys behind out shouting out 'Fuck yeah, Jeff!' and 'Want another shot of Crown, Jeffy-boy?' probably left about a gallon of spit on me everytime they opened their mouths.

But overall was a good night. Lachlan was being extra touchy last night, and during 'Angel Eyes' held me close and nuzzled my hair. *Swoon*

We left just before they wrapped up to avoid the long delays at coatcheck, and came home where I got another great goodnight kiss.

Today my boss from Hallmark called me back, to finally find out what happened on Friday, so I explained the entire story, in which she apologized profusely and offered me my job back at the other store (*note* The store everyone else who's been driven mad by Brenda the ho-beast works out of). I accepted, but told her no more than 3 shifts a week, since I'm finally like sheer and utter death during the 4 I've been taking. We'll see how this pans out.

Landlord Steve came over to help me fix the backgate again, and apparently my project for next set of days off is to repaint the bathroom *gasp* antique white. It's just got a lot of water damage around the toilet and tub, and looks utterly ghetto, so it's better this way.

Oh.. and I guess I'm acquiring another gay man, since Dade's moving in mid March. :)

The Old Woman in a Shoe

There once was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe
She had so many children
She didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth
Without any bread,
She whipped them all soundly
And put them to bed.

---

Ross and I have drawn the conclusion that the old woman's children all grew up to be murderers and prostitutes.

A Strange Proposition

Well, Jeff Healey rocked, although the opening band from Edmonton, Looker, was equally as good.

I got a nice snuggle during 'Angel Eyes' which went a long way towards me feeling good about myself.

But the strangest thing happened after we said goodbye and I logged onto MSN to see what the late night crowd was up to.

My ex, Joe's, old roommate Ty messages me.

He tells me the lease on the place him and Joel were renting is up in 2 days and he's moved out, wonders if I've talked to Joel lately, and then tells me he's newly single again.

For almost as long as I've known Ty, he's been with this girl Kenda. I remember waking up in the morning after staying the night and racing her to the bathroom.

But now they've broke up, and not only that.. Ty wonders if there's any chance he and I would ever get together.

Too strange.

You'd think it would affect him a little more to know that his old roommate and I have had a past, and that he's heard my 2am moanings through the paper thin walls in their apartment, but I guess not.

He says it's Joe's loss that he didn't get to keep me.

That's cute.. but still no.

There are just some people you never get involved with, and your ex's best friend is one.

Another Chapter Closed

I logged into my email this morning to see a message from a lady I know:

Just to let you know, in case you are wondering. In Tickle, I deleted the AC and Blog It group. Then I cancelled my account there a week ago.

Just so you know what happened when you don't see the groups anymore. :)

Tickle's a social networking site I used to frequent back when I first moved to Edmonton. I initially got hooked on the site back when it was emode.com and all it really contained was a plethora of free personality tests that I liked to stay up late doing, when I was unemployed.

Then a few months later the name changed to tickle.com, and the site became a social networking/matchmaking site. My honorary big sister, Corina, met her (now very longterm) boyfriend, James, on the site, so I decided to try my hand.

I went perusing through the site and stumbled on a social networking group called Alberta Central, which, as the name implies, is a group for people on Central Alberta to meet and chat.

I was on the site for about a month, meeting lots of chat buddies, but no one that really piqued my interest romantically.

Then one night, a whole bunch of the Alberta Central (AC) people got together on MSN to have a great big group chat, and I don't think I've ever had as much fun chatting as I did that night. I added about 30 new contacts to my MSN list that night.

The next day, I woke up, logged on and was immediately buzzed by one of my new contacts.

We talked for a bit, but I needed to get up and at laundry and other things, so I gave him my number and told him to call if he wanted to continue chatting.

He called about 30 seconds later, and we ended up talking on the phone for hours that morning/afternoon about our lives until that point, interests, just everything. It was one of the most amazing conversations I've ever had on the phone.

He was the father of two young boys, and had them that weekend, and since he had been neglecting them to chat with me, we finally had to say goodbye so he could get back to his duties.

Before he left though, he mentioned that the Alberta Central group was having an actual face to face meet that night at a bowling alley in the Northend of Edmonton, and asked if I was interested.

I had previous obligations, with an old friend who was having some severe personal problems, and was coping with a drug addiction, so I told him I'd pass, but would possibly make the next one.

I went to dinner with my friend, came back feeling nostalgiac for a more innocent time we'd shared, and very depressed about letting go of a friendship that seemed futile.

I logged onto MSN, and immediately was messaged by another contact who told me the guy I'd been talking to earlier was coming to pick me up, and that I needed to be at this meet.

My phone rang, and it was him, demanding my address jokingly.

I fought the idea of leaving my house and being social with people I didn't know, when I was feeling entirely anti-social, but I caved and gave him my address, and went to go get cleaned up.

20 minutes later, my doorbell rang, and there he was, in the flesh. He whisked me away to the meet, where I was made very comfortable, and talked to these people I'd only known by screen names previously. I also got to meet his kids, who immediately told me all about dinosaurs and paleontology (the eldest) and how to build houses with blocks (the youngest).

We left, he dropped me off, gave me a very good kiss goodnight, and we parted ways.

The guy?

He was Wayne.. Dickhead Wayne, who has ranked so much mention in this blog in the past, and I have to admit I feel really upset when I think back to this day. How sweet it was, how much fun we had.

So today when I got this message from the lady who established and created Alberta Central I think back to the wonderful people this group allowed me to meet.

Especially after spending the morning with one guy, Erik, a very dear friend from Calgary who has helped me out more times than I can count with advice, support or, yeah, money. I never would have met my wonderful 'E' had it not been for AC.

I'll find you your wonderful redhead yet, my dear.

Todd.. my beautiful inspiration. I cried all night the day you told me how the cancer made you feel. I started writing a book about you, and then realized it wasn't my story to tell.

The day you told me how wonderful your life had turned out, was one of the happiest of my life. You deserve the best of lives for all you've been through.

Tracy.. my gorgeous little bundle of sunshine. I'll always remember your beautiful Don King hair in Beaverlodge, and how much fun it was to salsa with you and have a little Mexican pour tequila on us. Seeing you again a few weeks ago made me so happy.. it's nice to know I've always got my little Tracy-kins to count on.

Remember.. I only kicked you out of bed because you wouldn't put out.

Allan and Kelli - My former Mill Woods hood rats. You two deserve happiness, bliss and more. I'm so happy to hear you two got engaged, and that one of the AC couples panned out to be as wonderful together as you two are.

Al, you'll always be my Greek God.. how do I thank someone who brings me a cigarette across the city in the dead of night, because I'm stuck at my boyfriend's place in the northend? Cheers to you, both!

There are some people that this group brought into my life that I sometimes wish I'd never known, such as the boy I talked to for all those hours, and the heinous boss I mentioned back in the early days of this blog, but I think for all they put me through, it made me a stronger person.

Shar -- Thank you for creating AC, as much as I wish it had worked out, I know how you struggled to keep it alive in the past year, and how hard it was. Thank you more than you'll ever know.

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

I highly recommend you DL this song.. Breathe Me by Sia.. it goes hand in hand with the melancholy I feel currently.

Plus points are tomorrow I'm bringing my fairy train and Lachlan out to Red's to partake in Jeff Healey and alcoholic goofiness. Yay for Saturdays!

Also quit aforementioned job.. more D's later. Cori's still getting her card, though. :)

Nana's 75 this year

Apparently, 2006 is the year of my family.

I got a very official looking invite in the mail from my aunt in regards to my Nana's 75th birthday this summer.

If I know anything about my aunt (keeping in mind, is the same aunt who got me rip-roaring drunk off ice wine at 11), festivities will include mostly drinking. And a houseboat. And bocce.. drunken bocce.

I'm stoked, since I haven't been to the Shuswap in a few years, and it's the weekend of my parent's 25th wedding anniversary, so I think that's when I should plan for my next vacation.

I'm very excited about this. Happy yellow invitation is getting posted on my bulletin board tonight.

Personality Disorder Test

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	High
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

And Today...

can only be summarized in one way.

Those cute stilettos I eyed up the other day at the mall have been vetoed as a reasonable work related expense if I want to continue to use my own feet.

Whoot!

11.5 hours in today.. no wonder my eyes won't focus anymore. I don't work both jobs tomo, so I think I'll call it naptime when I get home, and then cram in a date or something, just so my social life doesn't look so lacklustre.

I'm truly beginning to hate mass transit.

I checked the clock one more time before I walked out the door, this morning, and I know what it said.

It said the bus came in 5 minutes, so why did I see the bus crawling past my street, achingly slow less than 20 seconds after I locked the front door?

I suppose I could have chased it, but honestly, I spend too many other mornings doing that. My composure can't always take it when I'm still half asleep as I oft am in the wee hours prior to work.

And there's a good example of my perverse way of thing...

Rather than frazzle myself before a 1/2 hour busride downtown, catch the next bus and remain sufficiently frazzled the entire commute and then arrive downtown, on your first day at the new job, a fill 10 minutes early for your shift, and hoof it a block and a half to the building.

It was garbage pickup day today. I also hate garbage pickup day.

They seem to send a base minimum of 10 trucks to my neighbourhood, so at 7 in the morning you're greeted by the sound of hydraulic lifts and that annoying beeping reverse warning.

Of course, the dogs are fond of it, as well.

Lincoln usually resorts to pouncing on my stomach, full on, 'Oh for the love of God, Mom, SAVE ME!' while Summer casually attempts to dig up the carpet in my closet, looking for a safe place to hide. Couple of neurotics.

It's a joy that comes but once a week.. too much.

I read something the other day about how the City is planning to implement a policy requiring people to purchase tags for their bags before they can be picked up.

I personally like (or can live with) the neat little sanitation surcharge on my Epcor bill, rather than trekking downtown to pay for individual tags every few weeks.

I can see a few flaws with the arrangement, too.

Do they honestly think anyone is going to enjoy partaking in keeping their nighbourhood and/or yards pristine and trash free if we personally are in charge of individually paying for the disposal of said undesirables?

And they'd like us to refrain from making our bags more than 10kg?

Fat chance. It'd be cramming the bag to capacity. But then I'm cheap. And broke.

Had the absolute WORST turkey breast sandwich from Tim's in Commerce Place during lunch, today. The only thing that came even close, I certainly didn't pay $5 for.

Such joyful characters working there, too. Customer service might be dead.

Saw something 'Original' would enjoy whilst eating and being stared at through the window.. A Mini converted into a Red Bull ad. Too cool. How about this, too?

Corey and I were joking last night about panhandling from panhandlers, and I got my chance today -- TWICE. And I blew it.

Some chickie came up to me in the middle of my sandwich IN Tim Horton's asking if I could spare some change.

The joke was supposed to be that "No, you absolutely did not have spare change, but if SHE/HE could spare some, that would awesome". Or something lame in that thread that seemed funny while we were in convulsions about it last night, high on curry and stuff.

After eating, I went outside for a smoke, and the same woman, same question, etc.

I was just so aghast that she didn't remember me (I mean, honestly, EVERYONE remembers me, right?) I just blurted out, "You JUST asked me INSIDE", and walked away.

Man, I cannot believe I blew that opportunity twice.

Work was fine. Long but fine.

I just casually observed at the bank, and learned closing at the store. Got out of there in record time, too. I mean.. for the first time closing. 25 minutes or something stupid like that.

Deny that I'm proud, I dare you.

It's a crisp night, tonight. But I could still sit outside comfortably in my blazer. Best damn investments, ever, those things.

Kelly, my boss @ the p/t switched up my schedule so I don't have to be out of CIBC at 10 after, on days I double at the store. So that makes me a happy clam.

I dare those of you NOT familiar with my p/t job to guess what it is.

It's not clothing retail, West Ed has 2 locations both of which recently turned corporate although Edmonton is home to a host of privatized locations and the company colors are purple and gold. Sufficiently vague? I hope so.

Guess what it is, and I'll send whoever is correct one of what I sell.

Ready? Go.

And Shane and Justin, you're omitted from above contest (along with 2 roomie type people), due to prior knowledge.

Don't ruin it.

Not that I mind anyone knowing where I work part-time.. it's just... Contests are more fun.

Eight for Eight

Since I think tomorrow is going to be a long blogger-less day, I feel the need to add just one-more-post.

So here's my 8 random thoughts for 8:

-I don't often admit this, but I despise most pop. Ginger Ale is about all I can stomach. I do enjoy fruit juice, though. Sometimes too much.
On that note:
-The boys' bathroom upstairs is messy and needs to be cleaned. Corey uses entirely too much T.P.
-My new shampoo smells like Swedish berries, and that makes me really happy. And hungry.
-When I go to bed tonight, it'll be the third night that I try to watch 'The Ice Storm'. I'll probably fall asleep at the same part.
-I'm beginning to think this bank job isn't going to be worth it. I'd almost rather accept the job at the Body Shop in the mall.
-I've seen this episode of Family Guy about 12 times in it's entirety. Probably closer to 30 in part.
-4 weeks ago I would sell my eye teeth for a cup of joe in the morning. Now I'd sell my eye teeth never to smell it again.
-Tomorrow is really going to hurt. Really. Going. To.

Current Events

I must be really behind on current events. Front page of the Journal today sports a headline "High-speed rail to Calgary back on the table". I didn't even realize that they ever planned to implement a train going from Edmonton to Calgary and vice versa. Apparently in March, they'll pick a firm to complete the market demand study, which means by late April-March, many Albertans will be given a chance to say their piece on what they think of it.

If it turns out to be feasible, and affordable, I'm game. Will make going to the GOOD Cowboys on weekends easier for me. :)

Canada won another medal, this time a Silver in the two-man bobsled. Pierre Leudes is from Edmonton, and Lascelles Brown is from Calgary. There's reason enough to link the two by high-speed transit.. let's let the animosity and rivalry between these two cities die already.

I tried desperately to sleep in this morning, but between Lincoln desperately pawing my face when he heard me stirring, and the throbbing bass above my head from the movie Corey fell asleep to, I didn't really have much of a choice.

It's not working out to be an up and at 'em morning, unfortunately. Remember the beautiful Alberta weather I raved about yesterday?

Snow today. What'd I tell ya?

As much as the canines seem to be enjoying the white stuff, I'm stuck on waiting for the next weather change.

It's February, right?

It's hard to believe that just 2 days ago, I sat huddled in a corner outside of the office, struggling to keep my extremely temperamental MP3 player going against the cold winter wind, while I smoked enough to last until my next break.

It clicked, then. Winter's back. With a vengeance, bitches.

So color me confused when I woke up this am to discover that the sun is shining and Corey's taking garbage out in board shorts and a t-shirt. Comfortably, might I add.

Also that I logged on to MSN, and a gent I talk to is taking his bike for a ride in this freakishly warm weather.

It's February, isn't it?

I know I slept in this morning, but it's not possible that I slept in until April, is it?

Welcome to Alberta. If you don't like the weather, wait another 5 minutes.

Going to the Dogs

This was so cute.. how could I resist?

I forgot to post this yesterday when I read it in the Journal.




U.S. alpine skier's dog gets all-access pass


These Olympics are going to the dogs -- just ask Chevy Rahlves.

Chevy is a butterscotch-and-white Siberian husky with the wild eyes that belongs to U.S. alpine skiing star Daron Rahlves.

Wherever he goes around Sestriere, Chevy dutifully wears an official pass around his neck -- the kind of pass that confers serious access.

The plastic-sheathed pass reads "Chevy Rahlves/Skiing/Security" and includes a photo of the pooch looking off into the distance, as if deep in thought.

But Turin organizers, who doled out accreditation to athletes, team officials and journalists, said it had no such name on record.

Where did this mystery lead? Right to the U.S. Olympic Committee.

"We thought it would be a little bit of a joke for the dog to have a pass," USOC spokesman Cecil Bleiker said. "That way he's official."

For the record: The dog's tag lets USOC security know he should be allowed into the team's hotel and office areas.

My Top 3

Who's hotter?

Angie?:

Liz?:

Or Kate?:


Place your votes now!

~The Closet Lesbian

Nice guys..

This article tells it like it is.

Aching Feet, Canadian Idol, et al

I started my part-time job today. Wasn't sure what the bus schedule was going to be like on a Saturday morning to West Ed so I drug my ass out of bed extra early to ensure I'd make it. As it turned out, not only did I make it, but I was an hour and a half early.

I wandered around for a bit, grabbed a cup of mango passionfruit tea and watched kids playing hockey at the rink. Y'know, up until recently, I couldn't be bothered to sit and watch this game, but watching the kids going hard was so flippin' cute I couldn't just walk past them without a glance, so I ended up watching the remainder of the game that was on. Cute coaches help, too.

I decided something today. I really like shopping. Really, Really like shopping.

But up until my financial position becomes more secure, I really ought to tone it down. Really, Really have to tone it down.

I hadn't budgeted for new pillows, a blazer or anything else I bought. In fact, my budget included enough for bus fare and a cup o' tea. Not even the muffin I had for breakfast or the McChicken I had for lunch.

And definitely not for the journal I bought because I missed blogging this morning.

Do you think this means I have an addictive personality?

Y'know, because I CANNOT enter the mall and not buy something (even with spare change, can still manage one of those hilarious magnets from Millenium), or needing a journal, because I missed my online one for 9 hours today??

I concur. I'm addicted. Heavily.

West Ed was having the Canadian Idol auditions today. Mall was jam packed. Amazing how many people are willing to embarrass themselves just to have a shot at stardom. I personally think celebrity would suck. Look at Britney Spears.

I stopped by the auditions on my break to satisfy my curiousity, but alas, all I saw was heavily made up teenage girls with numbers pinned to their shirts, either practising yodeling or passed out on their backpacks waiting their turn.

Also saw a few cute boys that Corey and Ross might like, namely, definitely queens. Wonder if their girlfriends (the one's holding their hands) know, yet? I do. The secret's out, boys.

First day went well, anyway. My feet are killing me. Wish I'd had enough foresight this morning to remember that retail has you standing on your feet the entire shift, and that platforms (or stilettos, or any footwear worn for fashion as opposed to comfort) is DEFINITELY out.

My boss was amazed at how quickly I picked everything up. 10 minutes on the floor, and she's in back helping a customer, while there's a lineup developing at the till. I happily start ringing things in, and she comes running over.

What are you doing?

Ringing these in.

Do you know how???

Yes honey, I have worked retail, remember? It's a little mindless compared to my last job.

And I did tell her I was quick study.

Should also mention, this IS NOT the shoe retail job I may have mentioned to some of you. That went the way of the Dodo when I heard the words 'minimum wage'.

Anyway, two days off, and then an extra long day on Tuesday. I work at 10am at CIBC, and then start at 5 at the mall. Should have bought some good shoes today.

BTW.. anyone want a solid investment idea? West Edmonton Mall has no flower shop.. buy a franchised flower shop and pop a store in there, whydontcha? Makes sense. Biggest mall in the world, and no damn flower shop. Or don't. I can sell a ton of silk flowers.

Jamaica this year?

Yep, I think so.

My aunt Delores called my mom tonight to tell us that my oldest cousin, Donnie, is FINALLY getting hitched. He's 32 years old, and I've seen him in 4 long term relationships, so I guess he finally found one that fit.

Anyway, him and his fiancee have decided on Jamaica, and then entire family's invited, so I'm seriously contemplating about joining my parents to go. Prolonged Bowles family function and a holiday? Two birds with one stone, I say. :)

Jamaica Bound, October 2006, Baby!

Shitty Friends

What do you do when someone you thought you were close to is just a shitty friend?

What do you do if you get on someone's case because you care about them, and instead of admitting there's a problem, they blow you off and talk about you behind your back in malice?

I personally think that's a shitty friend.

And if this person's mentality is, "I'm a big boy, let me screw up my own life", but yet they act like an overgrown child doing it just because you told them not to, which works adversely in the "I'm an adult now" argument, what the hell do you do?

So buddy, take your little red ball and go home.. I'm kicking you out of the sandbox anyway.

I See You

Not sure if anyone has noticed, but right at the bottom of my page, half submerged under my stupid ramblings is a litle button.. my sitemeter.

Now I don't want to say any names or point any fingers, but I know who you are, so comment already! Or be afraid, be very afraid! :)

The Agonies of the Dating World

I must be the most infuriating person to date.. honestly.

Not only do I have a prerequisite of AT LEAST 5 dates before anything is going to happen, but if I happen to be in serial dating mode, 5 dates could last 5 months.

Unfortunately for one guy I'm seeing.. I'm in serial dating mode, and I had a short term relationship thrown in to boot.

We've now dated 3 times, which has taken us over a span of almost 5 months..

He's a little behind in the game.

He's a very sweet, very attentive guy and I do like him, but my head's not in the right place for anything but the dating right now, and if I have the chance to revert back to the serially dating self I enjoyed, I should really take it.

Anyway, I guess the only kind of guy I could really classify as 'my type' is a shy guy, and he's definitely that.

10 minutes of stilted conversation tonight before we figured out it was ok to kiss for the first time.

Well ok, I took the initiative. I might suck on a lot of aspects, but I guess that's my forte. Why prolong the inevitable?

But anyway.. back to my original point. At what point do men decide it's not worth it to pay for dinner, drinks, movies, etc etc etc, if there's no sexual payout?

I mean, if I'm in this stage of the game, I might date 2,3,4, maybe even 5 guys at once without sleeping with any of them, just to gauge if there's anything worth pursuing. I may really enjoy sex, but it's a very personal thing for me, and there's no chance I want to bare it all if there's no chance he'll stick around once our clothes are on again.

I think that's reasonable..

Are my old fashioned ideas on dating too old fashioned?

While I'm in the mood, here's a snap of my cat going after the baby's breath in my beau bouquet of yesterday.

I'm not usually a big rose person, but beggars cannot be choosers, flowers is flowers, and I'm just thankful to have got any.

(Disregard the kitty food mess in the background.. I was moving things around in the cramped space I call a dining room/office, and I just happened to move the posies into a photo op)

Yay for Bums!

Evidently this post didn't scar EVERYONE for life.

Shane sent this to me this afternoon.

See? Some people remember the Coppertone ad.

Life's Good

Alrighty then..

Well.. I got my flowers at the office.. thanks to the guy who didn't sign his name (I know who you are, though, don't think you're getting off that easily!), I got money in my account today (thanks to the nice lady at the EI office) and I got a kitschy part time job selling gifts and stuff.

Top it all off with some cute new clothes from Suzy, and a blissful cotton candy milkshake and..

I retract my former statements.. Life is Golden! Happy Valentines!

Of course the delivery girl came in and asked for me by name, so all the snoops down in the inner office came out to see me blush 20 shades of pink. I was the only one who got flowers at the office, but it's really not surprising considering I'm one of 4 women who work there -- 2 are off on vacation and the mailroom lady, Betty, got her flowers last night. Still.. thank you Mr. I-Think-You're-Too-Cynical!

In other news, Ross got a job at Hollister, and I'm so happy for him. Justin and I were so right about him applying and getting hired. He's like the poster boy, and he already proved to Tracy and I that his fashion sense far exceeds our own.

I've been working on mom's webpage a lot in the past few days.. it's mind numbingly dull, but because I have to be at the office at 8, I really need to be in bed by 9 or 10. Really hope Ross isn't in a gym-going mood tonight, because I'm not sure I can face even 5 minutes more standing.

But anyway, once I get it looking less patched together, I shall post the link, and I expect some (mostly positive) feedback.

And that's it, that's all.. I need to soak my feet and take off these flipping nylons. Bloody shoes. Bloody need for clothing.

The flowers are beautiful!

You dork.. the flowers are gorgeous, but I really was joking! :)

And who's cynical anyhow?

Bloody Single's Awareness Day

Well folks, here it is… the day greeting card and ice cream sales are projected to skyrocket.

Me? I’m sitting at my desk at work, counting panels on the wall to pass the time. The phone won’t ring, Solitaire is getting old, and I forgot my book when I was rushing for the bus this morning.

Well, my Valentine’s Day kicked it off into high gear when I woke up at 5 to go get a drink, and notice Rossy’s still up, watching TV and straightening up the living room.

He comes over, gives me a hug and a kiss, and wishes me Happy Valentines. I couldn’t help the scowling… it’s 5 in the morning, right?

He amends his comment.

“Happy Single’s Awareness Day!”

Ah yes.

I need another day to be painfully aware of how single I am?

Someone please bring me flowers. :(

I'm procrastinating again

Ten Firsts
First Best Friend: Hmm.. Melissa McVicar and Kyle Beattie
First Screen Name: breepeace, and I stuck with it
First Pet: Well, Charlie the cockatiel that wanted to kill me.. my first real pet was Sparky, the orange Pomeranian
First Piercing: My ears.. I was like 8 months old.
First Crush: Well, Kyle I guess, my first real crush was Tyson Thorne in grade 5, though. I loved the redheads.
First CD: Sheryl Crow's first CD, my aunt gave it to me
First Car: A hot pink convertible number... too small for me, but Barbie loved it.
First Stuffed animal: I don't remember honestly. I had a doll named Peggy Sue and my rabbit puppet named 'Bunny'.. I don't remember my first stuffie

NINE LASTS
Last Alchoholic Beverage: A beer the other night
Last Car ride: To the Canadian Brewhouse for breakfast on Saturday in 'Emily'
Last Movie Seen: 'The Constant Gardener' on Friday night
Last Phone Call: Tammy, upset about still working at 'corporate hell'
Last Song Played: I'm listening to 'Harder to Breathe' by Maroon 5 right now
Last Bubble Bath: While I was on the phone with Tammy
Last time you Cried: This weekend.. this weekend sucked

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: I dated a guy who became like a best friend, but no
Have you ever been arrested? In a roundabout way..
Have you ever skinny dipped: Yes, a few times, and the last time I sported the bug bites in some strange places to back it up. I used to skinny dip in the pool at the Ranch all the time. ;) Shhhh
Have you ever been on tv: A few times.. dog stuff
Have you ever kissed someone, and then regreted it? Nope.. I love kissing. No regrets.
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? Oh God :(
Have u ever cheated on someone? Definitely not.
Seven things you are wearing: A blue turtleneck, blue jogging pants, 4 earrings and my grad ring.. wow, I really had to dig for that one.
Six things you have done today?: typed (A LOT!), froze, made eyes at hot Roy, chased my bus, had a shower, had a bath
Five favorite things in order: My dogs.My family.Reading a good book.Friends.Music.
Four people (or things) you would tell anything to: Summer, Lincoln, Onye and my Mom

Three picks:
1.Black or White: Black
2.Hot or Cold: Cold
3.Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla

Two things you want to do before you die:
1. Set foot on at least one other continent.
2. Write and publish a novel.

One thing you regret: Telling him I loved him. I did. I just wish I hadn't.

And tonight...

.. I saw Ross' crotch.

Day at the Office

Shit that feels good to say.

Even despite the fact that the vast majority of my day was spent ammending itineraries and ammending and re-ammending the fiscal financial report that landed on my desk, no word of a lie, 12 times today. I love how the staff members know I have to have their itineraries in to the GM by noon, but almost no one sends it prior to 3. Bah.. dumb people.

Except Hot Roy.. who's omitted from the dumb people comment simply on the premise that he's hot, and shy.. and that's endearing.

Mike looked a little less like hell today, which put my mind to rest.

However.. the office is located like a block north of the Yellowhead, and after standing outside waiting for the bus on an already very windy day, the gusts coming in from the highway brought tears to my ears. Literally.

I'm freezing, so I'm going to go bathe.

Love It!

[click to enlarge -- it's worth it]

What I found out this morning..

Well.. I had to be up fairly early this morning to go to this interview, I logged on to MSN, and my mom starts messaging me really distraught.

It turns out she was deleting some MSN message archives on the computer and came across some conversations T's been having with friends.

Things like how he's been doing meth, and thinks mom's 'nothing but a pot smoking worthless person, who has never done anything in her life besides make me hate herself'.

I'm thinking eighteen is a little old to just start the teenage angst set, but mom and I are floored.

What do you say to an 18 year old boy who's decided meth is alright, but someone who smokes pot is worthless?

Love Songs

Useless piece of information:

I have 65 songs on my playlist containing the word 'Love' in the title.

Everything from 'Ghetto Love' to 'I Will Always Love You'.

*sigh* Small things.. small minds.. you know.

Countdown to V Day

Ugh.. so about 2 days until the dreaded annual fabricated greeting card holiday that I'm certain is specifically designed to make the single woman feel like a piece of loser crap.

What a wonderful day.

It's:

The day the attached guy goes for broke, spending more than his beer budget for a month on flowers, dinner and chocolates in the hope that his girl will put out tonight instead of declaring the old 'I've got a headache' line and leaving him with a chaste kiss on the cheek.

The day the attached woman hopes beyond all hope that her boyfriend of a year buys her the necklace she's been hinting about since before Christmas (remember -- the Christmas she got a blender?) and honestly hopes he wasn't really listening to her ramble about her toaster being broken. NOT that she's making a big deal out of this 'fake holiday' or anything, though, right?

The day the single man goes to the pub with his buddies and is cheerful that he can discuss hockey and cars at length while he drinks his 1, 2, 7 pints and has no set time to be home, nor any lady at home upset that he's missing this 'special day'.

The day the single girl sits at home crying into a pint of ice cream, watching 'When Harry Met Sally' for the 700th time, wishing her male best friend weren't gay, and secretly was in love with her.

Wait.. that's just me. Not that I'm harbouring feelings of love towards Corey or Ross or anything..

Honest.



Don't mind me.. I'm sitting here eating my chocolate digestives and belting out songs by Foreigner and the Righteous Brothers songs, if this is my Saturday night you know I'll be writing bitter V Day posts. Especially in light of the fact that every Valentine's for the past 5 years, I've not had a steady boyfriend. The last gift I got for it was a silver necklace back in high school. Last year my coworker bought me flowers just so I wouldn't feel so dejected.

Ross and I made a pact to go to the gym together on Tuesday.. we figure there has to be other singles out there as pathetic as us, or at least people guilty enough to seek a treadmill after eating their pints of Haagen Dazs.

However.. if anyone is so inclined to send me a bouquet or Casablanca or Stargazer Lilies to the office next week, I'm not opposed.

God.. Valentine's is a rotten day.

Things I'm thinking

I think:

Your main concern is an excuse for something bigger.

You made a mistake.

I'm worth more.

You overcomplicate situations.

You're scared.

You're willing to sabotage something, for fear of admitting something else.

I deserve someone who cares about me as much as I care about them.

I'm better than this.

I think you're going to miss me.

The First Day

Well, I started my first shift at the temp job today. I haven't done a whole lot of reception work in the past, but everything I remember about switchboards and telephone protocol seems to have stuck with me.

The receptionist was pretty much off in her own world today, likely because of her vacation this next week, but for the most part the job just entails answering overflow calls and typing correspondance/memos (which I rock at).

The strangest thing happened today, though. We'd just got back from our smoke break where I was telling her about corporate hell I called my last job, when who walks in but my old Regional manager.

He walks by the reception desk, raises his hand in greeting, walks around the corner and then comes back and looks at me.

"I know you", he says.

"Well, I sure hope so", I respond.

"You worked under me at [insert Corporate hell's name here, for libel purposes I prefer to keep my mouth shut], umm, umm, Bridgit", he says triumphantly.

"Hi Mike", was really all I could say.

He looked like hell. I guess his life sort of became hell after he got canned.

A week after he left the company, his wife left him.

I really didn't know what to say.

"Wow, rough week", was what I managed.

He's working this crappy courier job, living in a cramped bachelor's apartment behind Toys 'R Us on 97th Street, and he hasn't got paid yet this month.

That's rough. I remember the day of the manager's meeting when my buddy (and mentor) Jason got his walking papers.

Mike was so shaken up, I mean, the poor guy had only been there for a few weeks and was already forced to fire someone who probably knew more about big business than him and who's only fault was not taking a forced paycut.

Jason just happened to be my ride that day, so Mike offered to give me a lift home, since Jay had his own affairs to deal with.

The ride home was so awkward.. he just kept saying, "It's a shitty, shitty world, Bridgit", and a month or so later when we were bought out, he was the only one decent enough to tell me a demotion was the only way to save my job.

I mean, we had our differences throughout the corporate takeover, and sometimes he just pissed me off so much, but that's tough. I feel for him.

He's right.. sometimes the world is a Shitty, Shitty place.

Four Things

Wasting time while my bath runs..

Four jobs I've had:
1. Gas Jockey or Fuel Transfer Technician
2. Server/Busser/Expediteur - Earl's.. Don't eat the Pickles!
3. Retail Sales Bum
4. Legal loan shark

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Best in Show
2. Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin
3. Cruel Intentions
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Four places I've lived:
1. Jasper, AB
2. Chase, BC
3. Dawson Creek, BC
4. Bow Valley, AB

Four TV shows I love:
1. Family Guy
2. Home Movies
3. Clone High
4. Sex and the City

Ten highly regarded and recommended TV shows that I've never watched a single minute of:[1]
1. 24
2. Lost
3. CSI (any of them!)
4. Most Reality TV
5. The Office
6. Battlestar Galactica
7. My Name is Earl
8. Deadwood
9. Star Trek (any of them!)
10. The Wire

Four places I've vacationed:
1. Whitehorse, YT
2. Victoria, BC
3. Regina, SK
4. Kelowna, BC

Isn't that sad?

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Chicken Penne Primavera
2. Mom's Meatloaf
3. Dad's Meatballs
4. Anything pasta sans seafood

Four sites I visit daily:
1. pinkisthenewblog.com
2. furry-paws.com
3. radiosonic.fm
4. nexopia.com

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In the tub
2. Out with friends
3. At a dog show
4. Visiting my parents

This is why..

I should go to bed early.

The following MSN conversation I personally cannot be held responsible for... My sleep deprived mind is to blame. Honestly.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
I think I need to rob a bank now

I says:
Me too.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Ok..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Let's rob it together..

I says:
We'll have to go watch that movie that's coming out first though.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
I have bubblegum, a pop can, a leather catsuit and felt markers..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
You think of a good idea

I says:
We need a trained monkey and a harpoon gun.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Umm..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Does a barely housetrained puppy and a water gun work?

I says:
Also two one way tickets to Buenos Aries.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
How about 6 bus tickets?

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
I mean, honestly.. Work with me, here!

I says:
LOL

I says:
I'm trying. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Buy another one..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
We can add it to our inventory

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Submit your receipt to payroll at the end of the week

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
But honestly.. I think I have paperclips too.. might they come in handy?

I says:
Uh, payroll huh?

I says:
Only with a superconductor.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Yes.. this could be lucrative...

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
I don't have one..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Do you?

I says:
Payroll?

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
A superconductor..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
C'mon.. I'm offering up everything I own to make this succeed..

I says:
If we had a payroll, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
An idea incorporating all these possessions into a genius idea would be great!

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
We do..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
He's not on the payroll though

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
He just pushes papers around his desk

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
He still doesn't know he didn't get paid last pay period

I says:
I am lost.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
I'm crazy.. so we're even

I says:
Okay.

I says:
Sounds good.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Just let every rational thought you've ever had flow out of your head and you'll be in my state of mind

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Ok.. then submit your reciept to Lincoln..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
He'll probably eat it.. but won't you be proud of how proactive you were in getting it to him in a timely matter

I says:
Okay.

I says:
Can I write it on an old movie stub?

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Ummm No..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
What if Revenue Canada wants to audit our books?

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Well.. what movie?

I says:
Carbon copies.

I says:
King Kong. That one should be big enough.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
*sigh* No No No...

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
They'll never accept it

I says:
Photocopies?

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
It's possible..

I says:
Stone etchings?

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
That'd be good

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
You have some extra stone slabs?

I says:
Right beside the lobster tank.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
You have a lobster tank?

I says:
Sure. Out on the balcony.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Wow..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Are they trained fighting lobsters?

I says:
They're stunt lobsters for movies.

I says:
Mostly boiling pot scenes.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Really?

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Were they in that movie with the lobsters?

I says:
All four of them.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Wow.. that's so cool

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Do you train them yourself?

I says:
No. I just inherited them from carnies.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Oh..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Can I meet them?

I says:
They're a little shy.

I says:
Well not shy so much as pinchy.

I says:
They've names too.

I says:
Snappy, Big Red, and Stu.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Weren't there 4?

I says:
No. 4 movies.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
That's so amazing..

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Where did you meet the carnies?

I says:
Do you really have a leather catsuit?

I says:
At K days.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
That's hot..

I says:
What's hot?

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Well it's not so much a leather catsuit as it is a collar that's made of leather that my cat wears

I says:
LOL

I says:
That fits the bill I suppose.

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
Lobster toting carnies at K Days

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
I think so too

The Little Lost Protege - You can't be me.. I'm a rockstar!! says:
So which bank?

I says:
Bank of America. Road Trip!


To my future partner in crime, thank you for letting me get away with the stupidity.. here's some worktime reading for you. :)

Messenger 8.0 BETA is the Devil

So on the advice of a slightly more than computer literate friend of mine, I downloaded the Windows Live Messenger 8.0 BETA. The program is currently only invite only, but I HIGHLY suggest you don't accept any invitations you recieve to test this program. I realize that BETA means it's still in test mode, but this awful program had so many glitches and undesirable traits that I'm not even sure I'd try it again if it were released.

I don't know if it's a glitch, or an actual part of the program, but EVERY email address in my hotmail account and EVERY person I've EVER added to MSN was on my list. That brought me to a grand total of over 500 contacts! I didn't even think MSN allowed 500 contacts!

Let's put it this way, I've had MSN and my original hotmail account since I was 13-14.. being 22 now, that's 8-9 years worth of ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, men I've met online and blocked and deleted after one conversation, defunct email accounts and people I said 'Hi' to once 4 years ago.

I had Corey listed 12 times! Granted, the guy changes his email address (and his cell phone number) more often than some people change socks, but that's a bit insane.

I had my first serious boyfriend, with his first email address ever on there (pray to God he still doesn't use it.. Bongzilla_69_247 is slightly juvenile for a 22 year old guy to still be using).

To boot, they're all added and unblocked again, as it would appear. Simply awful!

Top all that off with the HUGE amount of MBs worth of RAM usage the stupid thing needs, and I'm so dreadfully unhappy I decided to do this when I got home.

The only two options I really enjoy are search bar for contacts (esp. since I've more than doubled my original contact list size now!) and the option to turn free Virus scanning on for file transfers.

Anyway, Rossy and I spent the latter portion of the day walking around Westmount and West Edmonton Mall's dropping off resumes. I think we fared pretty well, he only dropped off about 15 whereas I went all out and did about twice as many.

I have an interview/personality test tomorrow at 6 for a part-time position in a shoe store. Yay.. shoes!

And I start the temp job training on Friday. Yay.. money!

So I'm sort of hoping with the combination of those, I can get a few things caught up since I got a nasty sort of letter from ATCO today telling me that since I'm having trouble meeting my financial obligations it's possible they'll assess a security deposit on the account I've had for a year and a half with them. Tell me how THAT makes sense?

This grownup stuff sucks! :(

Daily Weirdism

Chocolate, salty balls.. left over from the Big, Chocolate penis Dade gave Ross.

No Chocolate

I'm sad, so I want chocolate.

I distinctly remembered there being a few pieces of Olive Garden chocolate birthday cake in the fridge, from the other day when Ross' mom pretended it was her birthday, but sadly, they've disappeared and the box is taunting me from the top of the garbage. So cruel.

Scrounging in the fridge presented a freshly made bowl of Jello. Thinking that would be enough to satiate my cravings for anything sweet, I grabbed a spoonful. I think Ross was attempting to make Jello shooters, since it's covered in a watery liquid and smells decidedly of rum. It really didn't do the trick.

If I wasn't so tired I'd be at the store now, getting candy, despite the fact that it'll leave me more sad in a few days once it makes it's way to my thighs.

I think I'll just sleep instead.

The Brooding Artist

We saw a guy doing caricatures at the mall the other day..

Maybe Ross and I can make money panhandling?

Too bad I have no marketable talents.

So Tired

So I passed out about 5-ish, and at 9, on the button, this am, I get a phone call from the temp agency asking if I can sign some paperwork before I go in for training at the position I'm temping for next week. I'm utterly exhausted, but to the point where sleep isn't coming easily.

Thus.. another survey..

1.You can press a button that will make any one person explode.
Hmm.. pending that I don't actually have to watch the explosion (Blood and innards aren't my forte), I think Saddamn Hussein would be a great candidate. The man's just a tyrant, and I can't think of a single candidate more deserving.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Uhh Hanson.. but I think the switch has been flipped. I'd like a switch that would stop Mmm Bop from existing, though. Horrid little boy band.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
There's honestly only one person whom I loathe on a constant basis. The woman tried to buy my dog from me when I was 12, and then many years later, had the audacity to tell me Summer had a 'temperament problem' at a show. I came so close to stroking her. She's like 3 times the size of me, though.. I'm glad my mom and Lisa held me back.

4. What is your favorite cheese?
Havarti

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich, which one?
Philly Cheese Steak.. it incorporates everything! *sigh* Grease.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie-celebrity of your choice. We are talking no strings attached sex. Who would it be?
Umm.. well Angelina Jolie before the baby bump.. male, I'd have to say Adam Brody.. I know, I know.. he's really more of a TV celeb, but I groove on the dork.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who is it?
Raine Maida from Our Lady Peace.. he's getting old.. still hot. Or Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray.


8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! What do you spend it on?:
Hahaha.. groceries. I'm so pathetic. I'll also have an appetite after all the nookie.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you going?
Spain, no hesitations. Well, maybe Australia. Greece? No.. Spain.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?:
Is this my only money? If so, then logically it needs to go a long way. If not, then some fun souvenirs.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. "Be brand-specific", what is it?:
Why is an angel offering me booze? That's odd. Probably Rye. That's boring isn't it?

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?:
The beginning of high school.. I wouldn't put so much emphasis on the status quo, more on schoolwork. Might even 'apply myself'.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?:
That I do nothing.. absolutely nothing. I'm perpetually on strike. And I'm worshipped -- that's important, too.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?:
I'm going to look like such a dork, but honestly, I'd have a sitcom about dog shows. It'd be slapstick, but how's that any different from the real fancy. It would probably bomb in it's first season, but I'd be satiated.

15. What is your favorite expletive?:
Fuck.. I'm very Manhattan with it. It gets sprinkled in everywhere. And it can be used for everything. "That fuck stole my smokes", "Say, Wanna fuck?".. Ok, Ok, I'll stop.

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?:
Kick them out of my room.. Mummies watching me while I sleep is creepy. I get cookies before I go back to sleep, too. Always craving sweets when I wake up.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object.
My purse.. I'll need it.

18. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?: The power to seduce any man.. or mind reading. That would be cool.

19. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool stuff... you can move to anywhere else in the world!
I'm in Spain, right? Then I'm going back to Canada.

20. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE: Cowboys in Calgary.. I love this bar!

21. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Who's house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude check it out I can float!
I'd probably float home if it didn't take too long. Maybe to St Albert to say hi to Wayne. Who doesn't like to float?

22. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead person of your choice. Who is it?
My grandpa.. as long as it's not a Monkey's Paw sort of thing and I could set him back in time.

23. What's your theme song? Chasin' You Around by Sugar Ray

Home Movies

I just want to start this post out by saying how incredibly thankful I am that my folks had the foresight to realize how much few hours of videotape would mean to their someday 22 year old daughter, who sits at home at 3 in the morning fighting off an enormous bout of homesickness and insomnia.

When I went home for Christmas, mom and I were talking about the videos her and my dad used to be neurotic about making when my brothers and I were growing up. She said back in the summer she came across a stash of them, and started randomly popping in videos.

We laughed about how dorky we looked handling dogs back in the day, how Trin's speech impediment disappeared with the onset of puberty and the entire summer we lived in our travel trailer.

The day before I left to come back to Edmonton, I discovered a pile of videos, and grabbed a few I thought might be entertaining.

I'm really glad I did.

I've been watching the first for the past 3 hours, through my youngest brother, Garhett's first Christmas, Trinity's 6th birthday piñata that just wouldn't die, and the puppyhood of my mom's resident geriatric, Tiara.

I saw my grandfather when he was at his most vital, and I cried. Most of the time I don't think about him, because it hurts. The years I should have been with him the most, were the years we didn't spend together. That still hurts me. I miss my grandpa, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there for him when he needed me. It's amazing, but most of the memories I have of him were suffering in a home after his stroke and struggling through dementia. It's wonderful to have this image of him again, doing carpentry, the thing he loved most, or holding my cousin Bowen, who's now in Junior High.

I realized my baby brother, Garhett, is still the most gorgeous baby in the world to me, and was probably the last baby I ever held and felt comfortable. Sometimes I think maybe that is a sign.. I was meant to be a big sister and protector, and that's why I don't want to be a mom.

I laughed and remembered the freedom I first felt when we moved to our house in the country outside Dawson Creek. I felt invincible.. the intrepid explorer. I remember that entire summer, my friend Tara Bray from Tumbler Ridge and I wandered the pasture looking for lost treasure. We never found it, but we always remained optimistic.

I saw my horses -- Dolly, my pony; Fudge, the pony who wanted to be a horse; Joey, my little dollface and Ricky, my old grey man. I love my mom dearly, but after watching that video, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive her for what she sent that old grey boy to once he was too old to ride. He deserved more dignity than that.

And all my kitties.. I'm so sorry.

I giggled at my crazy hair, felt embarrased at my loudmouth nine year old tactics and winced at my crazy buck-teeth. I guess I still have those.

I have to apologize for the sentiment. Maybe I'm just feeling a little sentimental now.

I think that was what it took though. I'm tired now.

Think Outside the Box!

Why can't I think outside the box more often?

See this staying up late every damn night thing is completely counterproductive, I end up stumbling across stuff like this, and getting down on myself because the old adage is true, 'If there's a will, there's a way'.

Just in case you have absolutely no motivation to click, this guy thought up the idea to sell pixel space for advertising purposes to raise $1,000,000 to put himself through school and get a few things sorted out instead of landing graduated with a ton of student debt.

I think it's ingenious.

My High School Stereotype?

Punk/Rebel 75% Drama nerd 56% Stoner 44% Goth 44% Ghetto gangsta 25% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 19% Loner 13% Geek 0% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

I'm not Just the Bridgit, I'm a Member.

What's your slogan?

This was the first result for my name.. I stared at it for 10 minutes before I figured out why it seemed so dirty.

I think I need sleep.

I can't sleep

And it's all your fault!

Resolutions Updated

I Am Resolved.

I am willing to face facts. I have never been any good AT ALL at keeping New Year’s Resolutions.

So I have decided to keep the Resolutions of others. Wheeeee, this ought to be fun!

1. You Resolve to lose a few pounds? No problem, I’ll just take that last crème puff off your hands.

2. Diet Coke? What are coke fiends, I mean, friends for?

3. Trying to reduce clutter in your life? I’ll send my man over. I plan on opening a Museum of Useless Crap.

4. Going to start an Exercise Program? I have been called the Exorcist numerous times…

5. Want to quit spending money willy-nilly? Please, allow me. I’LL spend it for you, thereby assuaging you of all guilt.


Oh yes, I can see THIS New Year’s Resolution working out…

The Roost etc.

Tracy got this brilliant idea to take me out last night, and after much discussion it was decided on that her, Ross and I would go to The Roost, which all Edmontonians know if the place to be if you're gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or a fruit fly.

I think we fall into the latter catagory.

Anywhoo.. we spent copious amounts of time at the mall picking out the perfect outfit for her.. quite beautiful if I might add.. and went home to get ready for the night out.

We got there at like midnight, and I *think* Tracy's worry that it wouldn't leave us ample time to drink was completely unfounded.

I woke up this morning (afternoon) with a basic idea of what happened, and a few strange pictures on my digicam. Hmmm. Sore legs, too, although I do remember not really leaving the dance floor.

And.. as I can recall, got hit on a few times by lesbians and stood in the cold waiting for a cab for an hour.

Good night?

You tell me... I did leave the many random boob shots out. Gotta keep it PG ya know.

Those who forget history...

Are doomed to repeat it.

The Results

Mmmmm.. Lunch!

The satay and infused oil are the two containers to the rear of the plates.. we're lacking on veggies, otherwise the dish would normally be a lot more colorful.



A closeup.. Rice Vermicelli noodles, topped with veggies, spicy beef and a peanut garnish.

Preps for Cookoff: Day 1

Ross and I have been arguing lately about who can outcook whom. Although I'll admit Ross can make some awesome meals, I think I know my way around the kitchen.. well, most of the time.

I've got a trick up my sleeve.

It's 3 in the morning and I just finished julienning carrots and handcrushing peanuts for a satay sauce. Oooh yeah, a challenge with Bridgit is one to be taken seriously.

I ate Vietnamese for lunch today (well, yesterday), and I think tomorrow for lunch, I'm going to prepare a semi-traditional Vietnamese 'bun' -- absolutely NOT in the Western sense.

A bun is a cold rice vermicelli salad with vegetables and a small amount of meat added as almost an garnish.

I've got my steak marinating in a garlic, peanut and coriander marinade and I prepped Garlic and Chili infused oil as a condiment in addition to the satay I need to finish in the morning.

Wish me luck! :)

Hopefully I can beat the Beef Vindaloo from a few weeks back.

Tracy and I

My Tracy and I: Photo Kiosk Addicts


But on another note, you -- stop toying with my emotions. I'm not a CD player that you can press Pause or Play whenever the mood strikes. Can you honestly wonder why I'm so upset all the time?

You know I care for you, but if this is the way things will always be, I already know there's better options out there.

To be unemployed

1)Are your parents married or divorced?
---> Still Married

2) Vegetarian?
---> Not even any semblance of it anymore, although carry the utmost respect for them.

3) Heaven?
---> Sure.

4) Come close to dying?
---> Times I felt like it.

5) What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
---> My earrings never come out, and whenever I wear rings, I normally wear them everywhere.

6) Are you eating?
---> Just drinking tea.

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
---> Mmmm... yes.

8 ) Makeup?
---> I try to daily.. you never know.

9) Were you usually the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationships?
---> Hmm.. sadly the dumpee. I hate dumping.

10) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
----> Oh man, the list just gets longer and longer the older I get.

11) What do you wear to bed?
---> Whatever. I'm not particular.

12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
---> Mmmhmm.

13) Can you roll your tongue?
--> Sure, I can roll it into a tonguey tube, and I can roll my R's.

14) Pluck your eyebrows?
---> Oh god yes.

15) What kind of watch(es)?
---> I haven't worn a watch since I was six.

16) Abortion?
---> I am pro-choice. Who am I to impose my values on others?

17) Hair color?
---> Only my hairdresser knows.

18) Future child's name?
---> If I have them that is... I'm a big fan of something classic sounding but slightly exotic for the girls, like Olivia, Cecile, Lucia or Adéle, but Logan, Quinn or Garner for boys. Although I'm leaning more towards naming future pets these.

19) Do you snore?
---> Only when I'm sick.

20) If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where would u go?
---> Spain, Australia, Greece.

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
---> Only my animals when they ate too much.

22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
---> Pay my way through school.

23) Gold or silver?
---> Silver.. or Platinum. :) Horribly black and white question.. I'd prefer Platinum.

4) Hamburger or hot dog.
---> Hamburgers.


25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
---> Pasta.

26) Beach, city, or country?
---> Beach.

27) Who was the last person you touched?
---> Corey.. he licked my face, and I hit him. Hitting is touching, right?

28) Where do you eat?
---> Home usually.

29) When's the last time you cried?
---> 2 Saturdays ago..

30) Have you loved somebody so much it made you cry?
---> Yes. 2 Saturdays ago..

31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
---> I'm a girl.. it's acceptable. Sometimes even hot.

32) Ever been involved with the police?
---> Once upon a time in Zellers, yes. I got tossed in the drunk tank one horrible Boxing Day, too. And my ex caused a lot of police involved drama.

33) Believe in Santa?
----> I try to still. It gets harder and harder every Christmas, especially when I help my parents stuff my youngest brothers stocking while drinking wine and eating the cookies left out.

34) Do you talk in your sleep?
---> If I'm stressed I might.

35) Beach or pool?
---> The Beach.. but wouldn't a more apt question be poolside or beach??

36) Can you cross your eyes?
---> Not really.

37) What's your favorite song at the moment?
---> The Offspring, Hit That, but it'll change tomorrow, I'm sure.

38) Window seat or aisle?
---> Window.

39) Ever met any famous bands/singers?
---> I shared a chocolate bar with the drummer from Big Wreck, and chatted the band up. They played their encore song for me that night and signed my CD. Met the lead singer from Joydrop, although they were never super mainstream. Made out with the bass player from Crowned King, but they're not really famous yet. Bif Naked, briefly. And chatted with the guys from Hot Hot Heat, because, well, I was one of the two people there to see them.

40) Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship?
----> Not truly, but fairly, yes.

41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
---> I'm a twirler.

42) Rickie Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
----> Oprah.. she's the shit.

43) Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?
----> No.. I fear it might come off as pretentious.

44) How long does your shower lasts?
---> Usually no longer than 15 minutes.

45) Do you drive a stick?
---> I don't drive -- period.

46) Cake or ice cream?
---> Why not both?

47) Self-conscious?
---> Only in awkward situations.

48) What time do you get up?
---> Whenever I feel like it, lately.

49) Have you ever given money to a bum?
---> Yeah.. I gave one $5 once, and then realized afterwards, it was my bus fare.

50) When was your first crush?
---> When I was like, 5.

51) Where do you wish you were?
---> On vacation, someplace tropical, with waterfalls.

52) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
---> I hope not.

53) Ever been given a ring?
---> Just by my family, and then all of my rings were gifts.

54) Longest relationship?
---> Just a year.. a very tumultuous year.

55) Last gift you received?
----> I guess you could call the necklace I gave back years ago, and then got back recently, a gift.

56) Last sport you played?
---> Can you call working out on the punching bag, Boxing? If so, Boxing.

57). Things you spend a lot of money on?
---> Food, Rent, Bills.. nothing fun.

58) Where do you live?
---> Edmonton

59) High School you attend(ed)?
---> South Peace Secondary School

60) Last wedding attended?
----> Oh my Lord.. Des and Trent's wedding, like 3 years ago. I know way too many serially single people.

61) Favorite fast food restaurant?
---> Taco Time

62) Where do you work?
----> I don't. Although I sign my paperwork for my new job tomorrow.

63) Can you cook?
----> Sometimes.. Most of the Time.

64) Most hated food:
---> Seafood.

65) Can you sing?
---> Not well. :)

66) Last kiss?
---> Last Night.

67) last concert attended?
---> Green Day in April

68) Favorite Alcoholic drink:
----> Rye and Gingers

69) Current Crush?
---> I'm not answering that...