Have you ever...

.. wanted to tell or ask someone something so much that it physically made you hurt? You want it to stop and things to be resolved so the pain goes away and you know where you stand?

But for some reason, perhaps because you're afraid of the answer you might receive, you continue keeping it bottled up?

What does one do in circumstances like this? Do they take a chance? Throw a little of the caution they hold so dear, to the wind, and hope for the best?

Or do they bide their time? Wait for the answer to appear like it inevitably will, and again, hope for the best?

So many questions.

Enough about that.

I'm back from vacation. The vacation I've been saving for since February. It was wonderful, generally, and I'm really happy that I got to share it with the infinitely special Mr. Roberts (who hasn't blogged since I started saving, might I add).

I'm a little down now though. I looked forward to that trip so much and I don't feel like I have anything definite to look forward to in the near future. My 24th year is due to be celebrated in 13 days but that has left me feeling indifferent for the most part. All those things I used to think I would be doing by now are still far off on the horizon, and I don't really feel like 24 gives me any cause for celebration except that I survived another year without being hit by a bus or being abducted my aliens (those silly 'how will I die?' tests gave me both demises). It's really an anticlimactic birthday.

Couple that with a whole lot of lonesome, since I'm sure most people will forget, and my sweetheart not being due back until the day AFTER my birthday and I'm prepping myself by planning to buy a bottle of wine and some movies from Blockbuster just so I have some sort of a plan. I'm not asking for pity -- I'm not asking for anything. I'm just pointing out how much birthdays truly suck after you're 5 or 6.

Work's fine. I have a job with my nemesis tomorrow, and as unhappy as the thought of being stuck driving in the truck to a from with her makes me, hours is hours. As long as she keeps her trap shut, we're cool. If not -- use your imaginations.

I suppose that's enough for now. I'm not feeling witty or entertaining tonight and Blogger's huge delay is really getting on my nerves.