Diagnosis...

I have Achilles tendonitis which is an inflammation of the Achilles tendon.

After 2 hours of sitting in the Medicentre swapping Reader's Digests with Rossy, I finally got in. 5 minutes after walking into the exam room, the Doc prescribes a few more days of rest on it (What? How? I stand for 8 hours a day!) and 2 weeks worth of anti-inflammatories.

What a waste of a Sunday afternoon.

At least it's not a break. :)

Bum Ankle

I don't know what I've done, or when I've done it, but somehow I've either managed to seriously sprain or break/crack my ankle.

It's been giving me trouble off and on all week, but last night I woke up at 2 am and resorted to spending the next 2 hours trying to find a more comfortable position to sleep in. I found sleeping on my stomach worked well, until I shifted and realized that now my piercing was giving me grief.

I popped a few demerol that mom gave me back in November for my wisdom teeth, figuring that because I take painkillers so rarely they should knock me out and allow me to sleep for the next hour or so.

Sadly, this was not to be. I dozed in and out all morning, waking up a few times wincing, and finally just got out of bed and let the dogs out at 9.

I've been sitting waiting for Rossy to wake up to come with me, because if there's anything more depressing than sitting in a Medicentre waiting room by yourself.

Off to get my diagnosis.

Is knowing your future worth $22?

Today was a day that I did not want to be alone. Happily Shane's not out of town (unlike seemingly every other person I know!), so he obliged and came to pick me up.
We went for lunch/supper/lupper at The Garage Burger Bar near Grant Mac, ate our meat (if you like mushrooms and onions, get the Garlic Mushroom Burger!) and wandered out with skittles from the skittle machine.

It was a beautiful afternoon, so we walked (truthfully, we limped, we're both gimped up currently) down to get ice cream after burgers and wandered around getting yelled at by kids in a converted fire truck with a hot tub in the back.

God, I want to rent one of those things.

As the firetruck rounded past us a second time I avoided walking into a pole while watching spellbound, and some guy came out of the grocery store, looked at Shane's Oilers jersey and exclaimed:

"Hey! Are you Ethan Moreau?"

"Hey! No I'm not", Shane replies and we continue walking.

Yes, Edmonton's in a hockey frenzy.. I didn't keep count, but I believe we were somewhere in the 10+ count of people honking or yelling things out their car windows. Still doesn't give them rights to not use their brains.

Armed with ice cream, we went up Jasper Ave, stopped in at the Wee Book Inn, and then I saw the sign outside of the Russian Tea Room for fortune reading.

I dragged my (not so) willing accomplice in, got the pricing and sat down with some weird middle aged guy named Larry (Harry? Will? I dunno) to have my palm read.

Corina used to read it all the time in Jasper, armed with the palmistry book and a cup of Baileys and Hot Chocolate, but today, I really wanted to find out if things are really going to be alright.

It certainly didn't feel like it this morning when I woke up feeling really alone and hopeless.

Anyway.. the reading started out sort of strangely. He asked me to spell my name, and I did, and then asked my age, which I gave.

Then he spelled my name and asked me to answer 'Yes' or 'No' to the spelling, and repeat my age.. 8 times. That was odd and mildly annoying.

He says I have strong hands, which denote a strong, honest and earthy personality, so any man I'm ever involved with longterm cannot be a schmuck, and that although I'll fall for a schmuck more than a few times in my life, the man I spend the rest of my life with (and yes, he can only see one) will be strong, with on par intelligence to my own, with his own opinions and his own life.

Evidently I'll have 2 children.. on first note, he said 3, but his face sort of grew dark and he ammended it to two. A boy and a girl.

I'm not jealous, but naturally inquisitive and suspicious about my surroundings and people I surround myself with, and would expect who I'm with to be forthright and honest with me about what he does.

I have a need to travel, but home is immensely important to me and is my refuge, and he told me I shouldn't invite people into my home if I don't feel comfortable with them.

I'll have a healthy life, although I should worry about back and shoulder problems and look into getting regular massages. He is right about that.. I carry all of my tension in my upper back and shoulders, but he could also have assumed that from the way my posture is.

I'm a leader, not a follower, and will thrive in a position where I can dispense wisdom and expertise. Something supervisory, or my own company or freelance, where I can call all the shots.

I'm a dominant, and I don't want a submissive type. I want an equal, and because I'm picky with who I want to be with, I won't settle for anything but. I'll go through 'throngs' (his word) of men in my life, but the person I'm going to be with I've known all along. His name contains the letters 'M' and 'A'.

I take on a lot more responsibility than I should take on, and should spend a lot more time outdoors, as it's my 'element' apparently, and the best stress relief for someone with my personality type.

I came out slightly disappointed, since I don't think he really answered any questions I had lingering, but for $22 I guess finding out that I'm going to have a happy relationship and a good, honest life is enough.

Nightmares

I have a deep rooted fear of aggressive things much larger than me.

I'm starting to realize this after waking up in a cold sweat to my recent bout of nightmares all involving things of giant proportion. There seems to be a thought process involved with all of them, too.

I'm given a situation where I have things I'm responsible for taking care of, and in almost every dreamscape am forced to make a decision between the things and people I love in order to decide which is more important.

Last night's dream involved your basic giant, and me trying to keep both of my roommates, my younger brothers, my pets and myself all alive while we barricaded ourselves in the house.

In one particular image, we all assume that the coast is clear from the giant's destruction (Edmonton is a large city.. the giant can stride from 111th Ave to 107th Street in 2 steps.. we figure it's a safe assumption) and 3 of us (Ross, my youngest brother Garhett and I) all make a break to the grocery store to get things to sustain us. As we walk out of the store holding as much as we can carry, a large shadow passes over the parking lot which of course means he's back in the neighbourhood.

I know it all sounds hokey and a lot like a really bad B-rated movie, but it's a fear which is indicating a deeper issue. I think this means I need to do some soul searching and find out what the root of this is.

A dream interpretation website I stumbled across this morning indicates that dreaming of giants signifies a great struggle between you and your opponents or may be symbolic of an issue or feeling that is dominating me.

I guess that settles it. I've got issues.

Any amateur dream interpreters want to give this a try?

WTF is TGIF?

Lately Fridays and Mondays seem pretty interchangable to me. The term 'TGIF' only applies in that I can't wait to be home and feel like nothing is expected of me anymore.

Our computer system.. in it's entirety, went down at about 1/2 past 3 today. Well, all except mine and the new girl, Naomi's. So for the last half hour that the branch was open (as well as an extended period after branch hours) her and I feverishly deposited cheques and cash into accounts, sent wires, checked balances and withdrew money. At that point, all of our coworkers were doing all they could do (chatting with clients), and I prayed and prayed that tonight I would balance. Wonder of wonders, most people angrily left after waiting for so long, and I did balance. Naomi's system went down just prior to this, so I was the only one tonight.

I felt horrible leaving all of my coworkers to their manual balancing misery at 10 after 5, but I really needed to have a cigarette.

Tonight I want to get drunk. So drunk I can't feel feelings anymore. So drunk that I don't know the meaning of responsibility or any indication of what it might mean.

Pain =... Gain?

I got my navel pierced yesterday.

For the last hour of work yesterday, and the bus ride home I had myself psyched about it.

"Yeah.. I'm totally gonna get that done. Like tonight!"

Got home and let Rossy know of my plans, and he pulls up his shirt, points at the little scar above his bellybutton and says, "It hurts.. it's kind of like stepping on a rock with your stomach.. but it lasts longer".

Well.. like most people I'm not particularly fond of stepping on rocks for long periods of time, nor of pain itself so I vetoed the plan. Sorta.

I laid down on the floor for a bit and started doing my taxes, once I got to the end and realized I'd forgot to carry a sum, resulting in me supposedly getting $1600 back instead of $600, I gave up and the plan was forefront again.

Ross had to work at 9, so I estimated that if we grabbed the next bus, we'd have time to wander the mall looking for a piercing place that would still take an appointment before he had to jet to Hollister for his shift.

We got on the bus, went to Westmount, and realized that apparently Westmount is the transit station everyone forgot. We stood there for half an hour, and not one of the 6 buses to West Ed showed up in that time. We ended up catching our bus, back PAST our place again and going in the other direction. The entire time we just made fun of each other's clothes (his hat, my shoes) to keep my mind off of what a BAD idea this probably was.

We got to the mall, and I grasped at one last straw of hope to get me out of what I'd committed to getting done. What is no one would take another appointment? I mean.. then I wouldn't have a choice. I could just go to Suzy and buy a bunch more partially hemmed pants instead, right?

No chance.

First place we got to had an appointment in 15 minutes. The little chinese piercer came out, looked at me for a second and said, "You not eat in 2 hours? You go eat, you get sick if you not eat".

Great.. talk about skyrocketing confidence. I'm gonna get sick.

We go to the dollar store and a manage about 2 pieces of a chocolate bar and 2 cigarettes before my appointment.

Oh this is such a dumb idea.

She calls me into the room instructs me to lay down and pull my shirt way up so she can inspect it, swabs it, makes a mark and then clamps down on it.

"Ready? Here we.. "

And then it was over.. she puts the barbell into my newest hole, and I stand up to see a little scarlet jewel inside my bellybutton.

Well, geez.. that wasn't so bad.

I didn't even swear.

I could get that done like another 6 times.

"NO MORE BORED DATES"

I wrote an entry back in late February about an ex's ex roommate asking me out, and the reasons why it was a route I'd never take. Guess what?

Sunday night was boring, and he just happened to be around and persistant enough to try again. This time I accepted. Against my better judgement.

I mean, he's a decent looking guy, makes good money, nice enough. But let's just say he's very likely to be another DHW with the 'shopping online' thing, and I'm still trying to learn from that particular mistake.

So for about 5 hours last night, I attempted to continue cleaning (well not really, the house looked awesome all night last night, and I have to give Corey kudos on his choice of cleaners), while also attempting to wash some clothes so I could wear something NOT FLANNEL when he got here.

I succeeded.. looked hot.. blah blah blah. He was supposed to arrive at about 8, so we could take his bike, grab some dinner and such.

8 rolls around and guess who isn't here?

As it nears 9, I decide going for coffee with Shane is a much better plan, and don't even really care what he says or thinks if he shows up and no one's home.

Well just before I leave, he comes online.

"Hey.. 8 didn't work out so well. Whatcha up to later tonight or tomorrow?"

SO unapologetic. I couldn't help it.

"Not going out with you"

And tonight he tells me, "I'm sorry.. I had things I had to do last night".

Which is totally cool, buddy.. and since you WON'T be seeing me anymore, that'll give you TONS of time to get it done.

Anyway.. Shane and I had fun sitting at PetroCan in Pickles. I think that's a great name for a car.

Librarians Rock!

She forgave 1/2 my fines. Possibly because of the sheepish look I gave her when I told her exactly how much my fines where, and partially because it was the biggest fine she'd ever seen. Go me. Creating records and stuff.

Uber Geek

After months of procrastination and pure fear at what I owed the library for late fines, I finally gave in and logged onto my account to find this:



$70?!?

Can I get an 'OUCH'?

This is by far, the most I've ever owed any library before in my life. It's also pretty sad considering I just paid them $40 back in November for late fines. They must love me.. I pay a person's salary.

Off to pay her. She'll be happy to see me.

I should be cleaning

The first time I was ever in a bar was when I was 16.. the bouncer was busy hitting on my friend and didn't bother carding us
That bar doesn't exist anymore
My landlord is gay
So are both of my roommates
I think my brother might be, too
I'm terrified of heights
I didn't used to be, but when I was 6, the Shrine Circus came to town and my uncle made my ride an elephant
I don't eat fish because the same uncle that made me ride the elephant took me crab fishing and then dropped the crab I befriended into a pot of boiling water
I can't stand drinking pop most days
Because it makes me remember every hangover I've ever had after drinking highballs
My middle name is Lee
I think it's boring, and endeavour that if I ever have kids, I will break 3 generations worth of tradition and give her a weird MN like Kimora
Yeah, Kimora
I've been cleaning house all morning
I hate cleaning
But I really like buying fun cleaning supplies
I seriously suck at playing dating head games, because I hate head games
I'm secretly jealous of people who play them so nonchalantly though
I like this one guy I'm seeing but I'm embarrased to tell people I met him online
I'm also embarrased to admit my longest relationship ever was also concieved online
I sometimes wonder why I stayed with him for so long
I have one ex that I may never get over

Commercials Work

I'm a consumerist whore tonight.

While watching my secret obsession tonight (hint: it's reality TV, and it has Tyra Banks in it, and if you still don't know.. go back to your hole) and I saw commercials for the Bissell Spot Bot and for Febreeze Allergen Reducer, so guess who is going shopping tomorrow?

Not to mention the hours I spent today dragging Lachlan through the Swedish paradise we dub Ikea to help me pick out an area rug. Gotta love a guy who'll not only indulge your silly girl shopaholic tendencies, and let you wander aimlessly through showrooms trying out all the furniture, but who actually enjoys doing it with you. God I'm going to miss him when he leaves.

Keep off the Grass

Rossy and I had a lovely day outside in the yard getting it all spruced up for summer. After the bit I did last week, I knew that raking, trimming and planting was inevitable and got down to it this morning after I took Corey grocery shopping.

Ross joined me shortly after, which made the workload a lot less and allowed us to rake and haul away the dead grass and other yard garbage in about an hour. We've both drawn the conclusion that we're still crazy farm kids when I set another controlled burn on the lawn to stop weed infestations and to give the soil some more much needed nitrogen. I understand it's not socially acceptable in a city Edmonton's size, but I figure since we were playing New Kids on the Block on the iPod and mini speakers while we were doing this, we're too far removed to care anyway.

He ended up making this great flatbread sandwich spread for lunch, and after that we just fooled around with the football and the dogs, who were ecstatic at all the attention and leftover food.

Summer almost seems less neurotic when I'm out in the yard with her. Now if I could only find a job that allows me to play in the yard on nice days, we'd be set.. she wouldn't be such a headcase and I wouldn't be so confused. Although we also laid down some concrete patio blocks that had been sitting in my yard since the beginning of time, so maybe it's time for me to go buy a dog run to place on top of the pad we created.


Of course the day wouldn't be complete without a bit of early day tippling, so we broke out the vanilla bacardi and discovered it takes awesome with raspberry iced tea. New cocktails rock!

It was an awesome mid-week day off and leaves me a lot more rested for my Friday. I get to look forward to my date with puppy man, Lachlan and his pager, since we've both now vetoed the pub crawl idea, and I still need to be MIA tomorrow lest Rick and Candi still try to convince me to come to the party that I believe is a front for them getting me drunk and into bed for a threesome. So we've decided that me and Linc coming over so he can play with Katie, and me and Lachlan can go be bums on the couch is the best plan of action for a Friday night.

Although Saturday's wide open.. anyone game for another fire night?

I have this crazy, campy techno song with a whistling bridge stuck in my head, remnants from Saturday's club outing. I saw the only gay man I'd allow to bear my children grooving on the dance floor by his lonesome in his dorky red cardigan and everytime I think about this little pseudo not-gonna-happen crush, I get that song going.

Please, no one else suggest it's 'The Killer's Song' from Kill Bill. It's not.

I Hate..

-Slow bus rides
-People that asphyxiate me with their raunchy B.O. smell on aforementioned
-Emergency phone calls at work that are both NOT an emergency, and out of my current control (ie. AT WORK)
-Money Mart
-The fact that Lachlan has pager duty on Friday night during the pub crawl
-Cold nights after beautiful days
-The fact that my long awaited 4 day weekend ended yesterday

So not happy anymore.

Monday's Nutshell

I am truly, madly and deeply disappointed to discover that in the entirety of 4 days off I got two loads of laundry done, lost and found puppy man, poop scooped the back yard (AGAIN) and cleaned the bathrooms. That's it. That's all.

I got NOTHING accomplished this weekend. This is disheartening, folks. It's true -- a procrastinator's work is never done.

I had a date tonight. I won't go into details, but I think I made another friend tonight. He's chatty, and I can use lots of chatty people around me.

I went to the Roost with the boys on Saturday with the purpose of finding Dade a man. It's never a good idea to hit a club with the makings of a migraine, but I went and was having a decent time until it hit me like a Mack truck. Sadly, Operation Get Dade Laid didn't go over as planned, but I remain hopeful.

Back to the grind tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Happy Easter!

*sigh* White stuff, I thought we were rid of you.

Birthdates

Go to Wikipedia and look up your birth day (excluding the year). List three neat facts, two births and one death in your journal, including the year.

- 1863 - Sixteen countries meeting in Geneva agree to form the International Red Cross.
- 1929 - The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of '29 or Black Tuesday, ending the Great Bull Market of the 1920s and beginning the Great Depression.
- 1992 - The Food and Drug Administration approves Depo Provera for use as a contraceptive in the United States.

- 1948 - Kate Jackson, American Actress (Charlie's Angels)
- 1971 - Winona Ryder, American Actress (and budding shoplifter)

- 1911 - Joseph Pulitzer, Hungarian-American publisher, posthumously establishing the Pulitzer prizes and one of the two originators of 'yellow journalism' (b. 1847)

He's Back Y'all

Back to our regularly scheduled broadcasting..

Anyway, before I got home yesterday to Ross' announcement that we had a 'small problem' I had all these things I wanted to ramble about.

I made a friend on the bus on the way home last night. While I was waiting for the bus outside of Commerce Place, this little girl comes, plops down right beside me and starts telling me things about her stuffed cat. Her mom and her were actually catching the same bus I was, so she sat beside me the entire way and we played I-Spy for a bit.

I like kids like that. They don't need their PSP or MP3 player to keep them happy and unbored.. just a little imagination and the world is their oyster.

She drew me a picture in my day planner.. I think it's me, but you can never tell with stick men.

But I think that's it. I had a rant, but I'm over it.

Lost Dog

100% of my fear, my frustration, my stress and my sleepless night boils down to this:



Lost yesterday at about 4.

Just Pictures

Corey and I had a case of the Mondays so we drank away our sorrows around the bonfire.

Everyone but dear, reliable Wayne bailed on us, but it still panned out to be a fun-filled evening. Or at least that's what this raging hangover tells me...

Anyway, enjoy!

Boones

I am white trash at it's finest..

Give me a bottle of Mondavi or a a box of your finest, and I still think a bottle of this beautiful stuff at $4.99 takes the cake.

Corey and I are drinking tonight, but don't worry. I'm still happy.

Glorious Sunday

Today was a nice leisurely Sunday. Woke up at noon after having a horrid nightmare, which got me thinking about which one of my pets I'd choose in a crunch.

Went out for dinner with Original Wayne, since he's back in town from work. Had a great greek meal at Ziveli on Jasper Avenue. The decor leaves much to be desired, but the food was amazing, quick and the servers were attentive without being overbearing and annoying. One of my biggest pet peeves is the server that keeps asking, "How is it?" as you're obviously enjoying the bite you have in your mouth. Do they do that just so you can't complain?

Anyway.. $98, a 1/2 litre of greek wine, 3 appetizers, 2 entrees and 2 desserts later, we were both ready to curl up on the table and have a power nap. He's been lacking a good variety of food up in High Level and I've been craving greek all weekend.

Corey and I went to the casino last to go meet a guy that his finance manager at the dealership is friend's with.

He bartends at the Palace inside West Ed, and we sat at the bar and had a drink while Corey frantically texted Natasha trying to figure out an icebreaker to say anything to this guy.

By the time we were finished one drink, I was determined to only spring for 2, so I called the guy over and introduced him while Corey turned varying shades of red and muttered "I-HATE-YOU-I-HATE-YOU-I-HATE-YOU" under his breath at me.

After they'd exchanged digits, Corey decided to drive down to the Southside to see his friend, Scott, and on the way I noticed we were passing Lachlan's place, so I asked him if we could stop in and see how he was.

Lachlan came down with strep/tonsillitis/scarlet fever earlier this week, and when I talked to him yesterday, he was gung ho to come over and partake in the bonfire I'd had planned, but by the time he made it back from Red Deer was too sick and worn down to want to go anywhere.

He managed to convince me to stay and keep him company while he waited for his friend Mike and his girlfriend, Michelle to come over, so we chatted for a brief while, and then had a few drinks with them before I got him to drive me home.

Got an invite to come down to Red Deer to party. Ought to seriously consider that. May be fun.

Also got more yardwork accomplished today, as yesterday I tackled the mountains of dog crap in the back. Front yard is rid of garbage (except DHW's shite, which is slated to be carried away next weekend sometime) and I'll likely tackle leaves on Tuesday, weather permitting.

I'm happy again.

Worst.Night.Ever

So the guy from Tuesday that I was so happy to be getting to know turned out to be a total wacko.

He'd mentioned wanting to get together and have a movie night on Friday when we got together earlier in the week, so my Friday was filled with anticipation that it would be as good as Tuesday was.

Sadly.. I was to be disappointed.

I waited for HOURS for him to call me last night, but finally I just ended up calling him to find out where things were at. He was at a pub in LaPerle with some work buddies, and said he'd finish his brew, say his goodbyes and be on his way in 10.

45 minutes later, he calls to clarify what my address was.

He pulls up in front of my house, comes in, make conversation with the guys and we leave, heading down to Cook County on Whyte to celebrate his friend Amanda's b-day.

We stood in line at Cook for about 45 to an hour minutes and moved a grand total of 10 feet. Finally Amanda relented to letting us leave if we gave her and her boyfriend, Kevin, a ride home.

When we got back to his place, it was after midnight. He had to work at 8 in the morning so watching a movie was out of the question, but we watched a bit of TV and then cuddled.

As we lay there quietly, thoughts started running through my head.

This guy has a daughter who is the most important person in the world to him. I have 2 dogs that he is allergic to. This guy is particular to the point of being close-minded about what he DOES NOT want in a woman, and I'm the same way, except I can't agree with anything he's particular about.

We chatted for a bit, and 2 things he said really set me off.

When I brought up the fact that my dogs and his allergies was a big fear of mine, he said, "It's ok, just clean your place really good before I get there and then keep the dogs outside".

No dice, buddy. Those dogs are like my kids, and if you had your daughter over and she started crying, would I ask you to put her in another room so I wouldn't get a headache?

I never admitted it to him, but the fact that he has a 6 month old daughter does bug me. And rightfully so. I've done this whole baggage issue before, and I'm entirely too outspoken to hide the fact that sometimes I really can't handle kids.

As we talked, he got more and more pissed off. Finally I just put my jacket on and asked him if he wouldn't mind if I called a cab and went home.

Of course, by this point, it's 2 in the morning on a Friday night, so EVERYONE is calling a cab to get home from the bar. I tried in vain for over 1/2 an hour to get through, and when I finally did, waited for another 1/2 an hour for it to arrive.

Meanwhile.. he's still arguing with me about the same issues we've beat to death, and is now making personal potshots at me at my 'bad timing' in discussing said issues.

He tells me he's lost so much respect for me for this bad timing, and little does he know, the way he's dragging this on and on, and making me feel more and more desperate to get out of there, not only do I have zero respect left for him, but now I'm just scared.

The thing that scared me the most was I've been there. I saw the pain and disbelief in his eyes, and it took me back to a time not so long ago where I had the utmost hope in something panning out and found out the other person had too many doubts.

I think putting aside the jerk persona he was trying to pull, and the fact that I felt awkward and just really wanted to be away from him, I was hurt more than anything at hurting him.

I'm sorry I hurt him, and I'm sorry it went so badly. I never intended for it to work that way.

Never date a friend. Ever.

Dade's a Slut

And he's too chicken to 'touch it'.

A few random thoughts..

-I absolutely hate when people get on the bus and sit beside me and they smell like curry or sausage. If they look like a smeller, I've now perfected my perpetually ill look. Who wants to sit beside the girl who looks ready to ralph?

-I've been looking forward to tonight all week. I cashed out faster tonight than ever and just about had a meltdown when I didn't balance.. until I remembered I forgot to post something. Happiness ensued.

-Apparently I'm broker than I thought I was. My GST cheque was larger than any other GST cheque that I cashed today.

-I love my job.. really really love my job. And most of my coworkers rock.. even if Anthony is still bugging me to take those weird yoga classes with him at the Y.

-Today is the sort of day happiness lives in. I never would have thought that when I woke up this morning to the drearyness outside, it would turn out this beautiful and perfect.

-I love when I get on the bus after work and the little Phillipino bus driver is driving my bus.. he never takes a break. Like ever. So I always get home 15 minutes earlier than any other driver. It does occur to me that if I were the one waiting enroute to my stop, I'd be really pissed off that I missed the bus every day that he drives.

It's Friday.. fuck Yeah!

Crazy Cake

Only we make cake at 11 at night...

Isn't it beautiful?

Smothered in vanilla frosting and chocolate vodka sauce -- it hides the fact that it's slightly lopsided and that part of it exploded out the top.

I devoured my piece like, well, like Bridgit on cake.

I caught it like a cold!

I'm happy right now. Like really happy.

Despite waking up to discover my crackpot dog had let herself out AGAIN during the night, I'm really in good spirits.

It's 1 in the afternoon, sunny outside and I spent last night getting drunk with someone who likes me.

Really, Really likes me.

Is interested in me and in his words.. "I've been all about you for the longest time".

Appearances can be decieving..

the guy that some people (Corey) have written off as being a 'punk' and the guy I always just thought of as a friend is spiritual, intellectual, sweet and a damn good kisser.

For once it's not all about sex.

And for once, that's really nice.

Lachlan.. if you ever read this.. Dade would like to make it clear that he's still interested. :)

Off to have vanilla milkshakes with vodka while screaming angry Alanis songs with Dade and Corey.

Decisions, Decisions

I think I've been really stupid lately.

I'm pining over a boy that will be a local Torontonian by fall, and there's nothing I can do to stop that.

Last night when he came over, and checked on how his bike was doing for bids on ebay, it sort of clicked in my head... he's gone. A guy doesn't sell a bike like that because he wants to.. he does it out of necessity.

And if he can give up a 'toy' that easily.. I'd be a very easy habit to break as well.

We're torturing ourselves by continuing this.. I enjoy his company, but I can't continue enjoying it in the same capacity knowing that I'm growing feelings for this guy that will never have a chance to develop.

And who am I kidding? I'll never move to Ontario. I'd be a basketcase in the city and away from my folks and the people I love.

So I dumped him. Anyone that knows me knows how difficult it is for me to be the dumper, but I did it.

It's like a dagger to my heart. I feel like such a bitch.

Bad/Good Luck

Well apparently Lachlan brings good luck.. but only in small doses. Linc took Reserve Winners Male yesterday out of 4 dogs, and again, remained immensely happy, so that was all good. If his front becomes stronger with age, this hardcore show stuff is going to be natural for the both of us.

The picture above is of my big win from this weekend. I competed in Brace with Linc and his litter sister, Jaguar. We were the only Siberian brace entered and so obviously took Best in Breed, but we also took Best Brace in Group defeating a duo of Boxers and Rottweilers.

Our judge, who was from South Africa, was a very sweet lady who adored my set of black masked bandits and declared them 'simply gorgeous'. She also requested a copy of the above picture, which as people in the dog fancy know, is a huge honor.

Today Lincoln duplicated his Reserve win, which means that out of the 3 dogs we had at the show, as subpar as the placements were, he did the best. The winner is a very nice puppy though, and more mature than puppy man is, and you can't be upset if a better dog won.

Anyway, enough dog show ramblings..

Sent the folks to Trooper last night. Sadly they were disappointed... by 11 Trooper still wasn't onstage, the cover band from Stony Plain 'sucked ass' (Mom's words) and canned music (Mony, Mony to be exact) was blaring from the speakers resulting in a loud of drunk singing along. Sober as they were, they left early and met me and G outside after we were done being geeks in the arcade and playing glow-in-the-dark mini golf (which I maintain that I won with nothing worse than a PAR, baby!).

They left mid afternoon (or was it early evening? I hate daylight savings time!), and hopefully should be back home before long.

Lachlan's back from the Deer tonight, and popping by to say hi when we DON'T have chaperones. ;)