Decisions, Decisions

I think I've been really stupid lately.

I'm pining over a boy that will be a local Torontonian by fall, and there's nothing I can do to stop that.

Last night when he came over, and checked on how his bike was doing for bids on ebay, it sort of clicked in my head... he's gone. A guy doesn't sell a bike like that because he wants to.. he does it out of necessity.

And if he can give up a 'toy' that easily.. I'd be a very easy habit to break as well.

We're torturing ourselves by continuing this.. I enjoy his company, but I can't continue enjoying it in the same capacity knowing that I'm growing feelings for this guy that will never have a chance to develop.

And who am I kidding? I'll never move to Ontario. I'd be a basketcase in the city and away from my folks and the people I love.

So I dumped him. Anyone that knows me knows how difficult it is for me to be the dumper, but I did it.

It's like a dagger to my heart. I feel like such a bitch.