I'm a few clowns short of a circus, and unfortunately I've disillusioned myself into thinking I can write. Godspeed.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I Want to Bitch..

.. so I'm going to.

3 years ago I worked a retail job that I kind of liked but that never managed to get me ahead. In fact, it got me farther behind.

I paid $500 for a room in a dark basement suite that I hated with a roommate that emotionally drained me most of the time and not one part of me felt like I was accomplishing anything more than going through the motions.

Some months I had $20 for groceries and made a $50 payment on my VISA that wasn't even a minimum on it just so they wouldn't take the damn thing away.

When I filed my income tax that year, the Alberta government subsidized my Health Care because I was officially impoverished. Meaning I made under $24,000 that year.

I cut up my VISA about 10 months ago when I decided the temptation was too much, but in light of the many reasons I need a credit card, I applied for a Mastercard today.

And when it came time to fill in my yearly income, I played on the adding machine multiplying my hourly wage by my weekly hours, and that by the amount of weeks in a year and came out with a sum that almost made me cry.

I work in a bank, and I will still be considered impoverished this tax season.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because I'm just in a melancholy mood tonight and I'll probably be over it come morning, but people, I listen to your problems all the time without complaint.. sometimes I have problems that I'd like to talk about, too.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Bridgit: Where Fun Goes to Die

Rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg says:
Any good advice for a bachelor party?
The Little Lost Protege - Whoot.. High Level here I come says:
A good wholesome game of Go Fish, cheese, crackers, kool aid and a 'Survivor' marathon.. definitely no naked women


He knows better than to ask a woman.

I'm going to High Level to see Mr. Roberts this weekend. We're going to steal a native family's teepee and lemon scented Lysol and engage in all sorts of debauchery.

Joy.

Find 10 things wrong with this picture

It's 9:20 in the morning. The bank has been open for 20 minutes and I'm standing behind my wicket depositing $20,000 in 100s for an 18 year old Korean girl. And no, I did not ask where she happened upon $20,000, I assumed she, being Asian, is just resourceful and good with her money.

All of a sudden, it hits me. A smell so putrid and vile that I gag and my eyes water.

Remember the smell of your urine the day after that all night bender you had a few years ago? Multiply that by 10 and you may be getting close to the smell I (and everyone else in the bank) was having to endure.

I can feel a headache coming on, people are plugging their noses and the security guard is going nuts with the Oust. And we haven't even been open for half an hour.

Someone actually pissed themselves standing in line at the bank.

It's not unusual for the street people to come in smelling like they've never heard of personal hygiene but that mixed with this was enough to make my nose want to jump off my face and run for fresh air.

Oh, month end -- how I've missed you.

Monday, August 28, 2006

In the News



Some crazy guy confesses to JonBenet Ramsey's murder and then ends up only being faced with child pornography charges when it turns out he's just delusional and has some sick sort of fascination with children.


The World's oldest woman dies at 116.


And these are the things I learned while I SHOULD have been working today.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

The Fringe!




We had a blast. Don't let the ugly look on Shane's mug fool you. He got his hot girl quota for the day, maple fudge and out of the house with this crazy shopaholic.

I can tell you that my big sister would be in utter awe of all the artisan booths there.. if you can't find cool, funky jewelry then you're either blind or nowhere near Whyte during Fringe week.

We stopped and watched a few street performers, shopped, caught a two person play called 'Two Seconds to Paradise', shopped, browsed booths and shopped some more.

A damn good waste of a day if I say so myself.

In addition to all the shopping, I've got a few crazy craft ideas that will alleviate my dad of his duplicate Bay City Rollers vinyl hidden away in the attic and a great idea for excess corks from wine bottles, because God, I need a hobby.

By Devious Means

So for the past few days I've been moping because I wanted to go the Fringe Festival, but everyone I know is either a) out of town, b) A lifelong Edmontonian for which the Fringe holds no further appeal or c) Already been. Normally, I'd go partake in this just to say I've been, but deciding I'm boring enough lately without my only OTHER topic of conversation being that I went to the Fringe solo, I decided to forgo and have a Casa Cleaning weekend.

HOWEVER... the following is a conversation I just had with Shane, or 'The Other Man' as Mr. Roberts has dubbed him:

I says:
You're no fun anymore. You never talk.
The Little Lost Protege - I Miss BC says:
It's because I'm boring
The Little Lost Protege - I Miss BC says:
I have nothing to talk about
I says:
You're not boring. I like talking with you.
The Little Lost Protege - I Miss BC says:
I am boring.. I never do anything
The Little Lost Protege - I Miss BC says:
For example I'd LIKE to go to the Fringe today since I've never been, but seeing as everyone I know is either 'Boring' or 'Already Been this year' I have no one to go with so I won't
I says:
Well you never asked me.
The Little Lost Protege - I Miss BC says:
Good.. you're coming to the Fringe with me
The Little Lost Protege - I Miss BC says:
My evil plan worked

I'm going to the Fringe!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Mixing it up

Name: Bridgit
Location: On my ass


Lets Mix it up.

What would you take from your house if you knew it would be flooded tommorow?
Well.. everything if physically possible. But let's go with the animals (the fish, too because he can survive in mud puddles, not flooded houses) and my computer (not because it's especially valuable, but because one night isn't enough to backup everything on it).

If you could erase anything you ever said to anyone, what would it be?
To a certain asshole who made my 21st year miserable: "Yeah, you can move back in".

You're stuck in a room for an hour with a chalk board, what do you draw on it?
His name in hearts, flowers, my signature

Your theme song is called?
Tired of Being Sorry

If your life was a movie, what category would it be in?
It would defy genres, but just for brevity let's call it a romantoondramedy

Something you wish to accomplish before the end of the year:
The whole weight loss thing

How much does it take to make you laugh?
Not much at all

How many sheep do you want on your farm?
Enough to count me to sleep.

Which wizard of Oz character are you most like?
Toto

You learn through mistakes, what mistake are you glad you made? (to learn):
Most of them.. there are a few that are dumber than I am and should never have happened, but they make me who I am today.

Would you ever run naked in the rain with your love?
Maybe not down a city street, but anything is possible

Do you think Giant anacondas really have a purpose on this earth?
Well there's gotta be some muthafuckin' snakes on a muthafuckin' plane, right? (Well said, Bryce)

Which is worse...15 pounds underweight or overweight?
Neither.. it's 15 pounds.

Do you like eating ice cream out of the carton?
Certain types

Do you find it gross to share drinks with family or friends?
Not at all

Does the world revolve around you?
I am the sun, of course it does.

Is everyone equally important to the world?
No. Although in theory, yes.

Do some people truly not deserve to live?
There are a small few.

If the world comes to an end...how do you think it will go?
Not that it will matter, but due to our own stupidity.

Will artifical intelligence help better or destroy the world?(think future):
I've seen the movies. It'll make people obsolete.

How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning?
Some mornings I'm out of bed fast enough to invoke a head rush, and others the snooze button gets slapped 20 or 30 times.

How important is it for us to find other planets, resources and life?
Well, we're screwing the planet we live on, so y'know, a contingency plan might be a good idea.

What do you think we'll use other planets for in the future?
Raping and Pillaging

Do you think emptying our trash, pollution, and waste on the moon is okay?
No. Does anyone?

What do you think about California?
I read today that the Napa Valley is just about the only part of California not polluted by smog, but yet I'm listening to that Baz Luhrmann song right now with the line about living in Northern California but leaving before it makes you soft, so I think I'll reserve judgement until I see it for myself.

Is it important to you to always stay(live) close to family?
I don't live close to my family, although sometimes it would be nice.

Why are slasher films entertaining?
The adrenaline rush.

Do you think it would be a good idea if we rebirthed dinosaurs?
Did anyone see Jurassic Park?

What do you think about Tennesee?
I've never been. Pretty horses from there, though

What body part do you think humans could live without?
Hair?

If someone invented glasses that can see through things, would you buy it?
If they really worked, I might consider it.


If you were a spider where would you crawl away and live?
In the woods

What do you think about pop ups? Is there a way to get rid of them?
I hate them like every other sane rational person. I have a great program for getting rid of them.

Would you prefer to be emotionless, so you didn't have to feel a heartbreak?
Life without emotion would be awful.

When you die, and if you become an angel, who will you watch over?
Can I have multiple charges? There are a few. Family and friends.

If when you die, you become a ghost, would you try to contact your loved ones?
I think I might. I'd miss them.

Would you want to haunt anyone? Who?
Could be fun.

What does everyone live for? (could it be love)?
I'll go with that.

Are emotions what make people want to thrive and live?
A large part of it.

Is there a way to solve world hunger that we are ignoring?
Maybe if generosity were mandatory?

What was (Gods) reason for our creation? What does he expect us to accomplish?
I have a theory..

What do you think should be added to planes? Vending machines?
Beds

Do you have a weak stomach for watching animals consume each other?
If it involves blood.

Do you think its important to conserve the rainforest?
Obviously. It seems pretty futile though.

Why do people move to Tornado country, when their homes will be destroyed?
It's cheap?

Will technology move us forward in life or take us back to the beginning?
It'll be the end of us.

If you could go back in time to the dinosaur era, would you take a visit?
No

Which Holiday pretend character do you wish really existed?
Santa Claus.. that would be a trip!

If leprechauns existed what would the world be like?
They'd always be bitching about their lucky charms going missing.

Mistakes help you learn, but is there some you regret making?
Everyone has regrets.

Do you often make the same mistake twice? three times? constantly?
I try not to.

My Career

Am I the only one here that loves to see couples together that just hate each other?

That has to be the most entertaining thing, when you see two people who just HATE each other -- together? And hey, we've all been there. Staying with someone you don't even LIKE. Two weeks in and you're already like, "No way. I can't stand this person. I'll hang around for 5 or 6 years and then we can end this thing violently. I've got time"

Girls -- you make the craziest excuses to stay. Your friends will all be trying to talk you into leaving him, trying to get you out of it.

"Jill, why don't you just go. He's a jerkoff, just go. Just grab your things and go!"

And you're like "I can't just go, Kim, It's not that simple. My CDs are in his truck. I can't just walk away from 40 or 50 CDs. It's gonna take 2 or 3 more years of abuse before I can leave -- with my CDs". -- Dane Cook


I know I've told a few people this already, but I felt the need to clue in the rest of the world -- I've decided to go into relationship and marriage counseling.

Possibly next year I'm going to take courses in Social Work and Psychology and in all honesty -- I'm pretty excited to have a career choice in mind that seems rewarding on many levels and has room for personal growth as well.

I just hope a certain someone will actually be able to put up with more psychobabble and analysis than he already does.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I Like You

I realize I rambled forever and ever about my vacation and for that I apologize. Keeping in mind, however, that most of my nights ran from midnight to 7 am during the weekend, you'll have to understand that I was beyond tired and just desperately trying to accomplish something on my list of things to get done.

Tonight I'd tackle the carpets in the basement, but I'm lazy and heading up to a long weekend of no Mr. Roberts and nothing fun planned so I think I can afford to procrastinate.

Again with the excuses.

I'm a good daughter. My folks celebrated 25 years together yesterday and I mailed out my anniversary card today.

Why does that make me a good daughter?

Because clearly I'm only one day late and they'll get home the day Canada Post delivers it anyway, right?

I also went to the Dollar Store and bought candles today. It was a good day.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Family Affair

I'm back. I really don't want to be be, but I am.

Mr Roberts and I left Wednesday night after I got off work, struggled through the rush hour traffic to get out of the city and hit the open road. We were an hour out of the city mulling over the things we may have forgot when it hit him. His toiletry bag was still hanging in his bathroom at home. We made a quick pit stop in Red Deer for some A&W and the use of the local Walmart to get some products for him and some snacks for the road.

We were back on the road shortly, and after making a quick phone call to my friend Erik in Calgary (who was working nights and not available to visit with or steal a couch from) we decided to cut through Airdrie and Cochrane and completely avoid hitting Cowtown. We got to Cochrane at about 8 or so for fuel and a quick change into sweaters (the change in temperature is apparent when you start approaching the mountains). After listening to some of the 18 year old local flavour raving about getting laid in the Fas Gas parking lot, we cranked the 80's tunes and headed out to the Trans Canada where I made a big deal about my points of interest (where I used to live, work, party, stop, etc etc).

We pulled into Canmore about 11, had a smoke and decided what to do next. The muni campground on the outskirts of the city is free for tenters, but it was also a tent city with french hippies and pot heads running around drunk, so we passed on that and figured we'd try our luck in Banff.

The girl at the Banff gate charged us our $17.50 and wished us luck in securing a camping spot at midnight, but suggested we try Tunnel Mountain since they generally leave their gates open for late arrivals. We lucked out and found a decent camping spot there at midnight, pitched our tent and settled in to catch a few winks.

A word to the wise -- NEVER stay in Banff in a tent with a REGULAR sleeping bag. Even in mid August.

At 2:30 or so, I woke up with numb hands, a chilled face and literally no body warmth. I pulled on my pants, my sweater and huddled under the sleeping bag hoping to breath a little warmth into the air surrounding me.

At 3 I woke up again, this time I snuggled up next to him for warmth. In his unconscious state he wrapped his arm around me and tucked his head in behind mine. This was good for 20 minutes until he evidently felt overheated and rolled over to his side again.

I shivered and checked the time on my phone, contemplating just getting up, starting a fire and sitting around that for the remainder of the night. I didn't though. Sleep won for another hour, and I basically repeated that process all night long until 7 when I woke up and stared at the tent walls until he opened his eyes and looked at me. We took advantage of the bathrooms and showers and were back on the road again before 8.

We had a pretty leisurely drive through the parks. I tried in vain to capture Castle Mountain (which is my favorite mountain in the entire range) on my camera, but that's where it completely decided to STOP working.

We passed some behemoth pillars and road construction on the side of the highway heading into Golden. I guess all the pressure to make the TC1 4 lanes is having an effect on BC's government

We stopped in Golden for more gas and eats. And Red Bull, which as per usual is my mainstay in stead of coffee. Just in the off chance, if anyone knows if any younger, brunette actresses hail from this small mountain town, can they please let me know since I can't pinpoint who the 20 pictures on the wall of the gas station are of and I'm still trying to decide if the cashier is obsessed or just proud of a small town girl making good.




Has anyone ever heard of the Enchanted Forest? Has anyone else been as stupidly excited as we were about stopping to see the biggest treehouse in Western Canada? I already said it, but I'll reiterate. We were excited. So we stopped, paid our $14 to get in and wandered around reliving our childhoods.

It was cute, and we had a blast playing around and setting up photo ops. I fed some ducks, and we got on the road about an hour or so later to head the other 2 hours to Salmon Arm.

And Salmon Arm.. what a riot! I spent every day in the water or on the beach.

Wayne's birthday was on Friday night and we bought him a big cake and embarrassed him when the 20+ members of my family surrounded him to sing him Happy Birthday. But he was great all weekend, and my family all adored him.

My surrogate brother, Joshy came down from Kamloops and talked me into 'drinking like we used to'. I woke up the next morning feeling dead from exhaustion but yet still hungry enough to down a Sausage and Egg McMuffin from Mickey D's, and Wayne readied himself to drive to Kamloops to visit his dad and to check out thier new place.

I went the hair of the dog route after he left -- downed a remnant Canadian in a pathetic 2 hours and went to the beach to sweat off the rest of the hangover. My brother Garhett is at this annoying age where everything about him gets under your skin and you seriously want to throttle him, and after an hour in his company, I called my dad to take me away and pack to the campsite so I could either drink more or sleep.

I chose the former, and nursed glasses of wine interspersed with cans of Red Bull all night until supper when Mr Roberts got back.


We had a wonderful celebration for Nana's party. A few tears were shed, plenty of food was ate and I think most people had a great time.

I continued to nurse my drinks all night, still managing to drink more than I should have, and we fell into bed with exhaustion until 7:30 the next morning when the sun came up with a vengeance and prompted us to either roast or get up.

This is the thing I miss the most about Southern BC. It's 8 in the morning and you're capable of getting a tan running around in your PJs.

We had the family over in the morning for a pancake breakfast and people dispersed from there after they'd been suckered into a few photo shoots and eating more than they needed to.

Wayne and I had been flipflopping about whether or not to head back to the city on Sunday or to head out to Adams Lake with my folks. I hadn't been out there in years, and was really into the idea but didn't want to burden him with doing the whole drive in one day.

And this is how sweet my dear Mr Roberts is. He readily agreed and then was even happy about my childlike enthusiasm when we got to the lake I had spent so many of my childhoods in.

Mom and I made supper, he and I went swimming with my brother Trinity and his girlfriend Robyn and enjoyed our last day in the Shuswap and Aunt Sandi, her boyfriend David and her kids all came and ate and made s'mores with us.

After a few rye and gingers I can be convinced to do most things.. including going swimming with Ashley at 10 at night when it's dark outside and the water is nice and refreshing...



And it was actually just very nice and refreshing, and not really cold at all.

We woke up early the next morning, dad handed a cup of joe to him and a cup of hot water for tea to me, and we grabbed our soap and shampoo and had baths in the lake to wake us up for the long drive back to Alberta.

Which I really was not enthusiastic about.

Altogether it was one of the best weekends of my life, and in a few years I'm moving back down there. Without a doubt.



To the above sexy beast, thank you so much for being there this weekend. Isle of View.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Front Desk Mission Statement

The house is kind of a mess, but I've only got my list of things to do narrowed to 20,000 now, so I'm a little worried that this might get lost before I get back.

For My Big Sis:

I will not instigate revolution. (Granted, telling the bouncers what I did started a BIT of a ruckus, but it all got out of hand too quickly)
I will not encourage others to fly. (But he said he could! I never imagined it was the drugs talking!)
I will stop selling rooms to tree planters. (Even though they make the best hotel room campfires)
I will not conduct my own fire drills. (Even after the aforementioned)
I will not expose the ignorance of the American tourists. (But it's so EASY!)
I will return the coats I've stolen from coat check. (Hey.. when you're cold, you're cold!)
I will not run with scissors. (Even in a hurry..)
Rainbow trout don't smoke cigars. (Although they look really cute trying!)
The kitchen deep fryer is not a toy. (The prep cook is not amused)
I will not eat yellow snow. (Even to see what it tastes like)
I will stop telling guests the pool is on the roof. (and that the entrance is through their windows)
The men's room is not a waterpark. (The pipes just burst again)
I will not grease the brass railings. ("Ooooh.. so shiny!"... and another one bites the dust)
I do not have the authority to fire bartenders. (So go tell him to stop smashing bottles in the cooler)
No one is THAT interested in my underpants. (But they're YELLOW!)
I will not sell hotel property. (Not even for lift tickets)
I do not have power of attorney over the housekeeping staff. (Which means you have to replace all the paycheques you signed over to the 'Drunk Jasperite Association'.. it was too hard to get it recognized as a valid charity anyway)
I will not get raped by an elk. ('Nuff said)
The lobby chandelier is NOT a toy. (Even after 12 shots when you think you've become Tarzan)
I will stop abusing the dead animals. (Including hanging garlands from their antlers in an attempt to make the lobby look 'festive')
Bouncing is best left to the professionals. (And their yappy little girlfriends)
A belch is not an answer. (It is after 8 beers and 12 minutes before the end of your shift)
I will not fake my way through ski packages. (I NEVER did this.. EVER *rolls eyes*)
Wedgies are unhealthy for management and other living things. (He looked tired.. we woke him up)
I will not barf unless I'm sick. (Or it's the morning after your 18th)
I will stop telling tourists it is okay to feed the bears. (Too many stupid people in the world already.. we do our part)
Pyramid Mountain was not put here by the ancient Egyptians. (Oh yes it was)
I will not mock the front desk manager. (hehehehehe)
I will not eat things for money. (I was broke.. and it looked ok!)
I will not dance naked on the counter while doing the audit. (You're all alone.. what else do you do?)
As much as I want to, my vest cannot be worn without a shirt. (I still think it would be a helluva turnon for some men)
The cleansing of toilets is best left to the professionals. (And not the girl who just found a gallon of bleach)
I will never party in a guest's room (unless they are really hot or offering copious amounts of free liquor!)
I will never book a party of 12 into a room with one bed. (They seemed like a really CLOSE group)
Bomb threats are not a joke. (It wasn't funny?)
I will not eat things for tips. (Figured it was the first time a Japanese tourist would tip)
I will not hang paperclips on my person. (We were accessorizing!)
Canadian Tire money does not count as valid currency. (Not even in Canada)
I will stop telling tourists that Lac Beauvert is painted every spring. (What? You get sick of answering the same question day in and day out.. mix it up a little!)
I will stop skiing down the hotel stairs. (Even for a free bar tab)
Most importantly, I will always finish what I sta

:)

Ahhh, the memories.

Monday, August 14, 2006

A Full Weekend

Ok, so Friday night it poured. I've drawn the conclusion that meteorologists just draw their forecasts out of a hat. Variable cloudiness, my arse.

That in itself was enough to make me fairly miserable, but then I also didn't balance and couldn't for the life of me figure out why.

We packed it up, and then I caught one of the St Albert buses into S.A. to meet Mr. Roberts for the parade and street dance.

He decided to leave the De Lorean at home, since she'd just been completely detailed and the roads were murky and very wet, so he picked me up at the transit station in his roommate, Jeanette's, Honda and we drove down to the parade staging area.

So many beautiful cars in one place. I'm not the hugest car nut out there, but I do recognize a nice piece of machinery when I see it.

They actually had a half decent turnout for the parade, in spite of the weather. People milled around armed with umbrellas and outfitted in raincoats and everyone was pretty cheery for what Ma Earth was throwing at us.



At about 8:30 or so the band came on. They played an awesome show and I think everyone was really into the old 50's rock they were playing. Everyone was dancing, and those that weren't doing in on the floor, were dancing in the crowd or in the sidelines. Even Mr. Roberts and I got into it and danced around with Jeanette from our shelter in front of the library.

They had to shut it down at 11, but because I didn't have the foresight to dress warm (note: sandals, a blazer and my work clothes), I was ready anyway. And I'm old now, so I needed to go to sleep anyway.

We got back to his place at about 11:30, showered and crawled into bed to sleep until 8 when we had to head to the car show.

We both ignored the first alarm when it went off at 8, and when the second one went off at 8:30 we almost stirred, so thankfully Jeanette had the sense to call him and wake us up so we could get a good spot at the show.

We peeked out the window and saw that the weather gods were smiling on us. The day was beginning with a clear blue sky and a bright sun.

We got there, got our spot, polished her up a bit more and then wandered around checking out the other vehicles already there.

I was happy to see a TR6 parked at the end of our row.

So I took this picture.







And maybe just another one. Y'know, for research purposes...



I left for a bit to get my hair and nails done, and I think he was happy to wander around without me tagging along. Plus, I got the added joy of taking a break from the boys and their toys to go do something supremely girly.

Unfortunately.. as pretty as she looked, he didn't win any prizes. The Special Interest category had competitors the likes of a immaculately kept Ferrari and a lifted Dodge pickup that really should have been in the Pickups 1990 and Newer category. Coincidentally, they also took the honors of First and Second, and the class only went 3 deep.

And if he didn't feel rotten enough about not having something shiny to put on his mantle, I discovered she was leaking coolant, and upon closer inspection he decided her water pump is done for.

We limped her home, got her comfortable in the garage and discovered that the supplier for De Lorean parts in Texas isn't (surprise, surprise) open on weekends.

Not the most appropriate timing in light of our impending trip down to Salmon Arm on Wednesday, but I guess, shit happens. And I have the utmost faith that things will work out.

Sunday we headed out to St Albert again, this time to see his friend Chris. Chris barbequed steaks and his friend Swede and his girlfriend, Erin, came out, too. I started drifting off at 11, so we said our goodbyes and he took me home.

Now I'm faced with about a million and a half things to do before Wednesday, but I really wanted to update in case I don't get a chance to before I leave.

And to be honest.. I wanted a place to stash this weekend's pictures.. so you're all forced to look. :)

Enjoy!







Thursday, August 10, 2006

40+40=A fun waste of time

It's like Corina knows these are my weakness and exploits it:

40 Things I Already Have
1. A helluva lot of brown clothing
2. A beautiful dog
3. A sweet cat
4. An adorable boyfriend
5. A "crazy" Mother
6. 3 crazy roommates
7. An honorary big sister (see above) who REALLY REALLY wants her boyfriend to propose
8. A big glass of OJ
9. An intense addiction to this online game
10. A full pack of cigarettes
11. A lot of gay friends
12. A really cool fish
13. Been approved for Financial Aid for school next year (Whoot!)
14. A fondness for my bed
15. Sara (Seriously attached to my Right Arm), my BlackBerry
16. Really pretty hair
17. Won over $100 on a VLT (the first and LAST time I played with my own money)
18. A nice rental house, in a nice neighbourhood
19. Received flowers in the past week
20. A good job that I don't feel ashamed of
21. Investments
22. The only 'non-traditional' piercing I'd ever want to get
23. Boobs that have been described as perfect by the only person whose opinion matters when it comes to things like that
24. Lips that require no collagen
25. Taken a mixology course
26. An antique map that I haven't found appropriate wallspace for yet
27. A goal in life
28. Two parents who have been through (and put each other through) hell and back, but are finally happy and re-learning and re-enjoying each other
29. The knowledge that I played more than a small part in the latter part of the former statement
30. A great big backyard that's perfect for Summer to stretch her legs in and fire nights
31. A lot of happy, sad, strange and frustrating life experiences that make up who I am today
32. Won a jellybean counting contest
33. "Steady, As She Goes" stuck in my head
34. A crazy amount of shoes
35. An ongoing email and SMS dialogue with #4
36. 2 Kid Brothers that are both much larger than I am
37. The coolest piece of currency EVER!
38. A poster from the peeler's.. and the lighter.
39. A MASSIVE MSN friend's list
40. This reunion/birthday next week to look forward to.


40 Things I Want
1. A better computer
2. A hot classic British sportscar
3. A cute haircut
4. My nails to get done before I go down south
5. More time off
6. Disposable income, failing that, comfortable would work
7. To finish my novel (and have it turn out bestseller material)
8. A cult following
9. To go camping with Ryan this summer
10. To balance consistently EVERY night now that I'm on Commercial
11. My own home
12. My brothers to relearn the meaning of 'respect'
13. A smaller waist
14. A perky ass
15. To fluently speak a different language... or 6
16. A rewarding career that I'm not ashamed to talk about at length
17. To travel the world, possibly several times over
18. A barbeque
19. New shoes that are sexy, comfortable and don't cost a small fortune
20. My own private island.. even a little one made of sand in a kiddie pool
21. Enough energy to clean my house from top to bottom.. or enough dough to spring for a maid to do it for me and then maintain it
22. To go on a cruise
23. An Italian Greyhound capable of winning Best in Shows
24. ETS to take responsibility for their driver's fuckup the other morning (in a nutshell, waiting for the bus to work, the driver drove right past me without stopping)
25. Corina to get hitched next year.. so I can wear brown for her, even though I'm not in the wedding party
26. To be someone's bridesmaid
27. To have more energy
28. A Flawless Credit rating
29. A wonderful relationship with someone who I care about that spans my lifetime
30. Summer to stop shedding the coat she doesn't have
31. A maid.. please?
32. A good picture of Mr. Roberts and I
33. Enough money to be a 'professional student' for the next 6-10 years
34. My own theme music

And that's it.. I think I've already got most of what I need.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Home for the Weekend

It's now the end of humpday which means 2 more days until the weekend is upon me again.

Mr. Roberts and I left early on Saturday. He said he'd leave St Albert at 8, to which I agreed that we should be gone by 9. Unfortunately, there's a lot to be said for clarity, he thought I was being combative and disagreeable, but I genuinely meant the two to go hand in hand, and he didn't show up until just prior to 9.

We made it though, after a genuinely awful experience in the A&W in Valleyview, and about 50 assorted "breaks" to smoke and do other things, and we rolled into Casa Le 'Rents about 5 minutes before my folks were sitting down to dinner.

I ate, drank and was merry until about 10:30 or so when this old girl opted for bed and left the people 25 years her senior to drink wine and eat cheesecake around the fire until the wee hours.

Sunday, Mom got the BRILLIANT idea to put her eldest child to work. So I spent 6 hours washing, drying, grooming and scissoring 2 VERY dirty, VERY smelly, VERY matted Golden Retrievers who had spent the spring being the ultimate in farm dogs and obviously enjoying every surrounding swamp and dead animal with gusto. I should have seen that coming when Dandy greeted us with a dead, entrail-leaking squirrel when we got out of the SUV on Saturday afternoon.

Never fear though.. the scissoring genius was there and made the 'girls' presentable and safe to touch again, and afterwards mom decided to grant me a break by handing me a bucket of varathane paint and a brush and sending me off to paint the new dog agility equipment dad built.

Thank God dogs see in shades of grey... picture the color scheme from The Simpsons house and you know what the new equipment looks like. I can hardly be blamed though since I was armed with purple, cornflower blue, peach and sunshine yellow paint and only instructed to make things a color.

Another early night for this girl, and at 9 the next morning Wayne and I shoved the stuff I salvaged out of the attic onto his lifetime collection of possessions that he'd grabbed from his parents and we were off to make it back to the city before 6 to change cars with Jeanette.

We made it, piled his things into the garage and then gave her the SUV back. Hopped into the Mini and proceeded up to Redwater to get the De Lorean from his friend, Les.

He and his wife Theresa are nice people. They fed us, plied me with red wine and took us out in the TR6, which reactivated my decade long love affair with British sportscars. We had a good time chatting with them, and then Wayne got to get into his Stainless Steel Baby and drive the three of us back to the city.

He's like a kid on Christmas morning when he looks at that car. And he told me tonight that after being at the car show with her the past 2 days he's started to recognize the similarities between car people and dog people. I could have told him that.. we're all crazy about our 'babies', be they furry and prone to anxiety attacks or shiny and sporting chrome bumpers.

For Dustin.. I found the entirety of my Kindergarten crap, and as soon as I get my stuff from Wayne's garage I'll scan everything and post it just for you.

For Corina -- don't despair. I have a whole list of reasons for you to be happy right now since I FOUND our Front Desk Mission Statement and will post it in it's entirety once I'm not drooling on the keyboard.

And for Corey.. remember before you came out and how Craig and I used to tease you and Tonye mercilessly about how your libidos must rage for each other? I found a little ditty I wrote way back when called 'When Tonye's with Corey'.. perhaps you remember it?

And for the rest of you, goodnight and Godspeed. Except you, Ryan.. I'm still mad at you.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

It's Early

I did something a little stupid this morning, like set my alarm for 6:30 so I'd have ample time to shower, finish packing, let Summie outside for a run and be ready for 8 when he gets here. But I'm so very tired now.

I'm really quite impatient to go, but I started reading The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving last night and it's another one of those books that I'm finding hard to put down. I've loved Irving since the first time I read A Prayer for Owen Meany -- he's so readable. Then someone at work saw the cover of the book yesterday and mentioned it was made into a movie back in the early 80's. Sure enough, it was, and I think I'm getting a kick out of the idea that Seth Green plays the baby of the family, Egg, in it since I've had an ongoing (and unexplained) crush on him for years.

Anyway, I didn't end up getting to sleep until at least 2 last night and looked morosely at my clock before drifting off, thinking, 'We'll meet entirely too soon, my friend', and if the bleary eyes are any indication -- we did.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Happy Friday to You!

And me, and everyone else who needs it. Plus, it's a long weekend, so I'm doubly excited for a little R&R at ye olde homestead tomorrow. We're leaving by the crack of 9, and Rossy is watching Ms. Neurotic for me when I'm gone.

Linc Man will still be there, and I'm a little apprehensive about 2 goodbyes with him, since the first was so hard for me. It sounds like we've found him a good home, though. She's really excited to have him, and she runs a dog walking business on the coast so I know he'll be happy to go to work with her everyday. Some things are just for the best, I guess.

I did balance today, wonder of wonders, which put me in a much better mood.

And mom says someone has offered to board Lexus and then drive her to the plane next week so we can get her safely home. A note to my sis, thanks for the offer, but whoever took her to the airport also had to hang onto her for a few days so we could get a flight with quick connections to Grande Prairie. That was where the problem lay, and I knew asking if you and James could watch a potentially abused 10 month old Siberian Husky puppy would be like sacrificing our friendship. ;)

Gotta get laundry done now.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I want my weekend!

I'm stressed out, and pissed off, and not really focused on much of anything and I just REALLY REALLY wish the weekend was here and I could forget about all this crap in my life.

Mr. Roberts found out last night that his parents are moving from Dawson Creek to Kamloops at the end of the month, so this weekend he'd like to go home to get the rest of his things from their basement. If I tag along, it means I get to go home to celebrate Mom's friend Marcela's birthday and have fondue, and I'm really looking forward to that.

Puppy man is still at mom's house. His new home fell through, so we're screening another prospective owner. I wrote her a long, thoughtful email last night on what life with Lincoln is like, but I haven't got a response. Hopefully she's not more attached to her cell phone than I was to mine. He's a very tactile and orally fixated puppy. Anything new goes in the mouth. Especially when it makes funny music noises and flashes lights.

And his litter sister, Lexus, who we sold to a couple in Virginia, is now finding herself homeless for generally the same reason. People who don't understand a puppy's need to chew shouldn't get puppies.

Mom's stressed about this, and it's carrying over to me.

So far we've managed to find her a ride from the states up to Brampton, Ontario, but still need to find her a ride to catch her flight out of Toronto sometime next week, and we're not having much luck.

Dogs are so much better than children in so many different capacities, but at least most people give more thought to children in circumstances like these.

I just really wish the weekend was here, and then my vacation shortly thereafter. And I wish some people would have more consideration for the people they profess to care about.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

When Tuesday's Worse than Monday...

..Things are bad.

Not much to say tonight.

I feel sort of blah, overwhelmed, uninspired and hormonal which is indicative that 'the curse' is on it's way. If you need to ask what the curse is, kill that need because you don't really want to know.

Mr. Roberts and I went for Bubble Tea tonight. He's being a hero and helping out a friend who has fell on hard times, but discovered he's not great at listening to people talk about nothing of substance for long periods of time, and therefore needed a break.

I feel emotional and I got Chasing Destiny at the library yesterday, so I feel a need to reacquaint myself with my bed.