I think the common thread is "Boys" and "texting" which means I am really 16, not 26

Apparently there's this thing called Wordle where you can type in your blog url and they give you an artistic rendering of what your blog is all about.

Mine is (not surprisingly) boring.


I think it's mildly humorous that the first thing that stood out to me is that repercussions is spelled wrong. And yet, I bet given the opportunity I would type it repurcussions again and again.

In the absence of my two favorite EHOs or my friendly neighbourhood IT guy to email, I felt the need to blog to pass time, because I just finished a job interview and now feel like I have an adrenaline/nerve hangover.

And then there was lightly whipped mascarpone...

Yeah, I dig it a little. But sometimes I wonder if people who get ironic tattoos ever think of the future and the potential repurcussions of getting something like, Oh, I don't know, the Flying Spaghetti Monster tattoed on the back of their leg. 9 out of 10 people I've made a reference to don't get it NOW, who is going to get it in 10 years?

Oh, noodly appendages.

Adventures in Dating Sites

I'm trying to re-create a profile on a dating website. Not because I genuinely want to date anyone after the last 'relationship' but because it's always an easy way to meet new people. And I am still holding out hope that I am going to meet "someone cool" on one of these websites. Apparently I am still delusional.

My roommate created one a month or so ago and she's been having nominal success, but last night her sister and I sat down with her to browse through profiles and find men who seemed 1) hot, 2) reasonably intelligent and 3) sane. We found a few hits, but my personal favorite was one man who listed "sleeping" as one of his hobbies.

"Mmm, mine too", I replied, "followed a close second by a great bowel movement".

Her sister looks at me for a second to gauge whether or not I'm kidding and sensing no change in expression starts laughing hysterically.

I was so not joking, and I guess that's why I will never meet "someone cool" on a dating site. I'm far too honest.

Give up Your Latte Today

And donate the $5 you would have spent to the Canadian Red Cross for the Haitian relief efforts.

It's so easy that I just did it from my desk at work. Canadians can donate $5 from any Rogers Wireless, Telus or Bell Mobility phone by texting HAITI to shortcode 45678. Donors receive a reply message asking them to confirm the donation with a YES reply. It is automatically added to your next bill with no service charges or added fees, although standard text messaging rates will apply.

Rogers wireless subscribers can also text the word "Help" to 1291 to donate $5 to Haitian relief efforts. One-hundred per cent of the donation will go to Partners in Health: Haiti and other relief organizations.

Americans can make $10 donations to the American Red Cross Society by texting "Haiti" to 90999. That code does not work in Canada.

Full Story Here, Here and Here for all the skeptics out there.

Do I Believe in Horoscopes?

Darn tootin'!

Reading Fridays horoscopes for the weekend cemented this. For someone who felt like everyone's energy was off to read that on this past weekend not one star sign was exempt from a serious case of the grouchies, that was all I needed.

But today's kicker was this...

Cancer: Do you really want to punish someone for deeds they committed in the past? It may not be your right to judge others if no real harm was done. Try to show your empathic and sensitive side.

You know who you are.

Pee Your Pants

I'm doing a short list of all the funny books I want to have opportunity to read (or re-read in some instances) over the next few months.

I feel like my life needs more laughter in it, and books by humorists definitely have the ability make you look at your life in a different, laugh-like-you're-stoned light.

Plus it gives me great fodder for further blog entries, because hey, the fact that you walked around all afternoon with a wad of gum stick to your leg is actually pretty hilarious.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea - Chelsea Handler

Lamb - Christopher Moore

Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini - Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.

High Fidelity - Nick Hornby

Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw: Travels in Search of Canada - Will Ferguson

Not Tonight, Honey: Wait 'Til I'm a Size 6 - Susan Reinhardt

The Losers' Club: Complete Restored Edition! - Richard Perez

Sand in My Bra and Other Misadventures: Funny Women Write From the Road - Jennifer Leo

The Risks Of Sunbathing Topless: And Other Funny Stories From the Road - Kate Chynoweth

I Was Told There'd Be Cake - Sloane Crosley

Straight Up And Dirty: A Memoir - Stephanie Klein

I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence - Amy Sedaris

Stuff White People Like: A Definitive Guide to the Unique Taste of Millions - Christian Lander

I'm currently reading The End of the Alphabet by C.S. Richardson, and while it does nothing to curb the wanderlust, is an excellent book and highly recommended. So it begs the question -- what are YOU reading? AND since this is just a short list, I'm open to suggestions on what I should look into. Have I mentioned I ♥ Books?

Fighting the Battle of Who could care less

Sometimes I wonder why people even bother to get into relationships. Sure, there's the initial glow during the honeymoon phase, which all too quickly turns into obsessing over all-those-little-things-that-drive-you-batshit-crazy, which morphs into "What did I even see in you in the first place?" which crashes into the period I am in now -- "Who Cares Less?"

The basic premise of "Who Cares Less?" is that it's one giant game where you both pretend nothing the other person says or does bothers you, when in actuality everytime you talk you end up walking away uneasy about one thing or another. Not that the other person will ever (EVER) know until you decide to do what I'm doing now and just outright tell them. It's all the dumb little games where you send a text message to establish contact and then stop responding without saying goodbye. Where you call them up just to cut them off because you're so in demand you can't possibly take five minutes to hear what they have to say. Where you pretend you're both so nonchalant about everything, that everything in your world is so copacetic this is just the most minor of speedbumps in your road of life.

These are the games people play.

So why bother jumping into anything? Why not just date casually and see where things go and then maybe one day down the road you realize the person you've been seeing is everything you'd ever wanted in a mate and THEN (and only then) pursue a relationship? But why does everything need to be so reminiscent of high school, where the girl you like needs to become your steady girlfriend if she returns your affections? And then when it doesn't work out after a few months you both need to beat a dead horse in order to demonstrate to the other party how hurt you were, because the other option of shaking hands, sharing a quick hug and saying "Gee sorry it didn't work out, shall we just try being friends again?" seems like such a ridiculous one?

And all I keep thinking is that I was so looking forward to a reprieve after the craziness of the holiday season, and here I am so exhausted and indifferent I want to just zone out watching all 3 seasons of Arrested Development with a box of fudgecicles and a dog in my lap.

StealthSwitch

Check it Out.

I would give up energy drinks forever for one of these bad boys.

Baby, it's COLD outside

So cold you can feel the tiny hairs on your face frosting up.
So cold that you dash in front of cars wondering WHY THE HELL they think they get to go before allowing (poor, pitiful, climate control-less) you to cross the street.
So cold that halfway through a walk equivalent to roughly 6 city blocks you consider whether it's still worth your while to turn back.
So cold that $17 for a fuzzy scarf seems like an awesome deal.

Obviously I went for a walk today and did some impromptu shopping. I've been back in my office for roughly 6 minutes and the feeling is just starting to come back into my extremities.

I often wonder why I'm still living in the north, and the dream of stealing my roommate's dog and living happily ever after in Bali begins to seem less and less like one of the pipe variety.

Brrr.

Transference

I was reading this particularly interesting study this morning about transference in interpersonal relationships, and specifically in a romantic relationship.

The basic concept is that oftentimes in traumatic circumstances people will transfer details about the situation or person(s) involved and carry it forward. In a romantic relationship, the victim becomes involved with someone new and instead of attempting to understand the person they are with, the victims will choose instead to make the assumption that they are just like another person (in many instances, the aggressor in the past relationship) and consequently believe their new partner will feel and behave in ways that are similar to how that other person would feel/behave.

I wasn't aware of this term or theory, but I've often wondered about whether it's possible. Especially exiting a relationship where I often felt like I was being compared to someone else, or reacted to in a way that didn't seem entirely appropriate to the situation. There's so much comfort in knowing you aren't alone, that there's a perfect black and white term to describe it, and that it's not me or him -- it's just the human brain.

New Year, New.. Me?

2009 came and went, and 4 days ago we entered the year 2010 (or "Twenty Ten" for the douchy among us). It doesn't seem like a whole year has passed, and yet, it did -- quickly and chock full of events.

In the past year I felt like I was getting more of a grip on who I am. I've ended relationships that while perfectly fine, felt unfulfilling, because I know I can't sacrifice who I am to be with someone else. I've had the opportunity to be free, to take off for a week on a moment's notice and enjoy being me and being young. I've fallen asleep in the arm's of a lover, and fallen asleep after angry words with a friend. I've met people, lost people, regained bonds formerly broken and written off people who I knew just weren't worth the effort anymore.

Nearing the end of the year I learned more lessons than I did for the other 10 months.

I re-learned that if things look too good to be true, they probably are.

That talk is cheap, and actions do speak louder than words.

That you must ALWAYS trust your instincts first, and your heart second, but to allow your mind to make the final call.

That like, curious little Alice, "I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it", and that is something that should change.

That slow and steady does win the race, because things that go too quickly are always destined to crash and burn.

So while I've already mentioned that two of my new year's resolutions are to dance like there's no one watching and to not put up with toxic people in my life, the third is that I will listen to my instincts and not settle for anything less than what is best for me. And that I'm worth it, and I need to start realizing that.