Yep...

PS.

I forgot a puppy update.

Lacey had 3 boys whom we have dubbed Clint (Black), Alan (Jackson) and Paul (Brandt).

Years ago we had a female country singers litter (which my beloved Reba was from). The night these 3 boys were born was the night my parents went to the Clint Black concert, so it seemed fitting that we work that into the litter theme somehow. Plus Clint, Paul AND Alan have all had the (dubious) honor of playing Dawson in 2009.

Jaguar had one girl. So she really was just kind of fat like we figured, since we estimated 4-6 puppies. Her name is Uno. I shouldn't have to explain that.

Lifestyle Changes

I'm on this new diet. And before you start jumping all over me because diets are the devil and all that, let me explain:

It's called the Conscious Diet.

Ever heard of it?



Well, that's because it doesn't exist. Technically.

Although the basis of it is well documented and is preached by all dietitians and doctors who really give a rat's ass about their patients' health.

Basically, you just have to be conscious about what you eat. Reading the labels, approximating calorie counts and ensuring you get enough exercise to be running a caloric deficit on a daily basis. It also means paying attention to the things your body tells you. If things aren't digesting well, you should not be consuming them. After years of ignoring what my body is telling me in regards to dairy, I've finally decided to stop just dabbling in soy and give up (most of) my beloved dairy and Lactaid pills in favor of it. And my body is thanking me. When I say most of, things like cheese (in moderation) and yogurt have never been an issue for me. Plus yogurt is extremely beneficial and vegan cheese is disgusting.

You have to make smarter choices. You have to think about everything that passes between your lips. I used to be under the impression that the 1-3 steeped teas (with 3 creams and sugars) I consumed daily with friends at Timmy's weren't doing me THAT much harm. They were. Since giving those up, I have not only lost weight, but feel more energetic without and know that I can depend on caffeine as a pick-me-up when I desperately need it.

Yes, this diet is part of the reason that I've given up meat. It had more to do with me finally realizing I needed to start respecting my body than it did with any sort of heartache for the suffering animals in slaughterhouses.

Although I can't deny that it played a role, too. Being friends with someone who works on the 'kill floor' of the biggest slaughterhouse in town means I was often subjected to long stories about running out of ammo and needing to slaughter pigs with dull knives (yes, this is actually not legal, but you are naive if you believe it doesn't happen). Or having to endure the stench of bloody boots in the car on a hot day for after-work coffee.

Since I was young, red meat has been pretty well indigestible for me. However, I grew up in a very meat-and-potatoes household, and not eating meat as a child was not an option. My parents did the best they could by trying to provide poultry options whenever available, but ours was a household where money was often tight and other options were often not available due to budgetary constraints.

By the time I'd moved out on my own, I'd just grown accustomed to the cramps and other digestion problems, consuming red meat resulted in. Plus having to cook a meal for one on an even tighter budget than I'd grown up with, often meant that I would buy whatever was on sale -- usually ground beef.

In my early twenties I started developing a plethora of digestion and gastro-intestinal problems -- irritable bowel syndrome, lactose intolerance, a gastric ulcer and several other things. For one year I followed the strictest diet I could muster in order to heal my stomach and GI tracts, and afterward felt better than I had in a long time.

Old habits die hard, though.

Although I avoided heavy meats like steak, roast and chops, I still liked burgers, sandwich meat, sausage, ground beef and chicken. Even though the majority of those things made me pay the price later.

I've since replaced them with super affordable vegetarian-friendly options like tofu, faux meats (Yves makes an awesome ground beef sub called Veggie Ground Round which works great) and just plain old vegetables. Cooking has become something of a passion for me again. Tonight's dinner is whole wheat lasagna with spinach, the aforementioned Veggie Ground Round, Grilled Eggplant, peppers and cottage cheese. And it's fantastic. And cheap. It takes me probably twice the time to shop (reading labels, even when just skimming for pertinent details, is time consuming) and costs me half of what it used to.

But if you're pressed for time, nothing beats some sliced cucumber, celery, red peppers and carrots as a snack. If you think it's not filling, I beg to differ. It's a lunchtime standby for me when I'm pressed for time on my break.

Just in case you still have your doubts, I just did my daily weigh-in, and I have dropped...


11 pounds in a month.

No kidding.

This in addition to increased energy, clearer skin and a more positive outlook on life. Plus, the kicker -- no more stomach pain. I could also tell you about the ease with which I... But I won't. Use your imagination.

But I'm not telling you to do as I've done. If you can stomach dairy and meat, and enjoy them both, continue enjoying, but in moderation.

Like everything in life, eating should be done in moderation. You can still enjoy pizza, but enjoy a SLICE of pizza, as opposed to HALF the pizza (as I've been guilty of doing in the past).

Contemplate and enjoy your food.

I know many people tell you to stop eating in front of the TV and if I have learned anything, it's that they're right. If you have to focus on your food instead of on the pictures flashing on the screen in front of you, it takes longer to eat, and consequently you fill fuller faster than if you were eating like a madman while catching old Fresh Prince reruns. As someone who HAS been guilty of eating half (or more) of a pizza while watching a movie, I've now realized that one piece is perfectly sufficient if I eat it while standing in my kitchen, or sitting at my table.

Get outside. All across Canada we're experiencing this wonderful season known as SUMMER. It's a great time of year and only lasts for a few short months. Go for a jog. Walk to the store to get groceries. Take your dog outside for a romp in the park and a game of frisbee.

I am extremely fortunate (and a lot of you are going to snicker at this, but it's TRUE) that I've never owned a car and despise driving with a passion I normally only reserve for slow moving Japanese tourists with big cameras, so I've ALWAYS had to walk anywhere I want to go. Except where a friend could drive me. And in a town this size, driving usually meant going for dinner/coffee/drinks or groceries. Because I don't have my own wheels, I've never been dependent on them (unless I need to go to my parents' place, since 40 minutes by car would mean about 2.5 hours on foot), so I AM fortunate that I can't just decide to drive for groceries instead of walking and getting 15-20 minutes of exercise that way.

One of the only things I'll miss when I leave is the relatively short distances almost anywhere I need to go in this town. 15 minutes of a moderate walk can put me at the library, grocery store, post office, bar or (unfortunately) Tim Hortons. Finding a place that is central enough to walk to get groceries in the city might be a little easier said than done.

Don't let you get away with anything! If you think that your body is unaware of that piece of cake you're cramming down your gullet, think again. But adversely, don't worry so much about it that you turn to food to feel good about the world again. Food is a wonderful, wonderful thing, that should be treasured and enjoyed, not viewed as an enemy. A piece of cake if you are CONSCIOUS about it can still be enjoyed. Just remember that you had it. Walk a little longer tomorrow.

In any case, I'm far from perfect, too, otherwise I wouldn't have found myself in the pickle I did a month ago when I weighed myself and discovered I had packed on *gulp* 30 pounds since this time last year. View this entry not as a lecture, but motivation that really simple changes CAN change your life and how you view yourself.

An Addendum

2 minutes after I posted my last entry, my office phone rang and it was my mom. Turns out that in a fit of sleep deprivation I may have volunteered to whelp the puppies while she went to the Clint Black concert with dad tonight.

Since this is my first time delivering a litter completely solo, I was a little nervous but things seem to be going well so far. *knock wood*

Puppy #1, a big grey male made his appearance shortly before my arrival.

Puppy #2, a black male just made his entrance around 20 minutes ago.

And here I sit, just me, 2 pregnant dogs in labour and my computer.. waiting.

How to Fill Your Workday...

I challenge you to find your own creative way to stretch 15 minutes of work into a 7.5 hour work day.

I knew today was going to be slow for me since the people I require to be in the office to give me paperwork to work with are all out of town today.

7 times today I asked my boss if there was something I could be doing. Finally she gave me an Excel spreadsheet to format, and asked me to pull some staples out of some old information brochures. 5 minutes later, I was bored again.

Don't get me wrong, I feel awful for having shirked away the entire working day, but I'm at wit's end as to what to do with myself.

Things I did with my work day:

Discovered the difference between 'pastries' and 'pasties'. I thought Bill Bryson just had a slacker editor in "Notes from a Small Island", but it turns out a 'pasty' is actually a Cornish pastry, which makes it different from a regular 'pastry'.. well, I'm not really sure how. Except the kinds of pastries we're accustomed to generally aren't filled with turnip, potato and steak, and pasties are.

Paid bills.

Worked on my budget for the next few months, including color-coding and highlighting all un-necessary costs on my bank statement (ie., cigarettes, daily tea at Timmie's, cutesie earrings, cases of beer and concert tickets).

Discovered I have spent over $1100 this past month on entertainment and cigarettes.

Tried to justify that over $600 was spent on a week away in Edmonton.

Pilfered beautiful pictures of places I hope to one day see, but will for now be satisfied seeing as a screensaver on my work computer. See Maldives.

Talked to my mom twice. And was disappointed by a lack of puppy news both times.

Made lists of things I need to: do, sell, give away, buy and throw out.

Made lists of people I need to call.

Ate over half my coworker's jellybeans.

Google Earthed all 6 of the prospective places I have to live in the city.

Had Google Earth map out the exact distance and directions from home to work (0.4 km, which the program figures to be about a 45 second walk).

Wondered why I'm consistently late coming back from lunch if I only live 45 seconds away from work.

Shredded old bank and credit card statements (which I brought from home after lunch, when I was late).

Looked at pictures of people's European vacations, and instantly wished I were there again, instead of here.

Played with 'Milton', my red Swingline.

Hydrated my cuticles (The Body Shop Almond Oil Nail & Cuticle Treatment)

Called 2 people on my list of people to call.

Texted some friends/coworkers who may be in town over the next few days to figure out a rendezvous.

Stared at the clock.

At the time of writing, it is currently 4:20 (fantastic, right?) and I have exactly 10 minutes left.

I think I need to pee.

A Great Big Ugly Fork in my Road

I'll admit it. For the past 6 months I have been depressed beyond belief. Most people close to me are already well aware, since my good days are met with extreme enthusiasm and my bad days are met with offers to go for coffee for the 17th time that day (pretty well the only social activity I seem to enjoy lately).

I made this absolutely HUGE decision back in January for all of the wrong reasons and not once in making that decision did I stop and think "Are you being realistic?".

I wasn't.

I had this idea that in sticking around, everything would pan out just as it should, and that I'd eventually grow accustomed to life in my hometown and everything it entailed. I'd develop a stronger relationship with my family, better bonds with my friends here, take my degree without distraction and try life in town as opposed to a 40 minute drive outside. Plus I met my apartment and fell in love.

But now, 6 months later I've realized how not myself I've been feeling. How lonely I am almost all the time. How much I miss the people and experiences I've had away from here. How hot a South facing apartment gets in the heat of the summer.

I'm tired of feeling reliant and of not being able to do or experience the things I love because of distance or time constraints.

Granted, I have an awesome job with fantastic coworkers and I get paid well to do what I do, but it's not perfect and ultimately I need to have an awesome personal life, too, in order to feel happy.

This town is not where I will find the man/the job/the home of my dreams, and I've always known that, but have remained eternally optimistic that the tide would turn and somehow one of those things would appear here. I think I let my optimism get in the way of my more realistic side.

So here I stand -- not at a crossroads -- but at a fork going in 3 different directions.

One loops back here, and I know that's the road I can only take in the direst of circumstances. The other 2 lead off into directions both familiar and unfamiliar. I'm leaning towards walking down the one path without a second thought, but something about the other seems to beckon and isn't altogether discounted. It's a difficult decision, and I've been standing here for almost the entirety of this past half-year debating.

I know many people in my life believe I've made the decision to go down the one path due to a man, and while a man -- and the distance between us -- plays a minor role, rest assured he was not the catalyst for the decision. He came along months after the thought first crossed my mind and besides I've learned my lesson about staying or going based on the whims of someone special in your life, and have made the decision that where I choose to go should be dependent on how happy I believe I will be there.

Yes, there's a man of interest. And it's no surprise that trying to get to (re)know one another over a distance of 500+ kms is no small task.

It doesn't alleviate the situation when things like touchy satellite internet and no cellphone reception hinder your ability to communicate with each other effectively through the long distance.

Anyway, back to the point...

Although there is a person of interest, he's still just that and not the love of my life or rather even someone I am in love with. He just has the capacity to make my new life elsewhere more enjoyable than the one I have here, and things like fun are weighing heavily in my decision based on the trace quantities available here.

I wish I knew what the future held and which one of the two decisions I'm debating was the road to success. I'd hate to discover that a year from now, I'm just making the same mistake over again, instead of trying something a different way in hopes of obtaining a different result.

On another note, I will be abandoning this blog shortly in favour of starting another less public blog (see "Fishbowl" if you're confused). Those wonderful readers who have been with me over the past 5 years here are welcome to contact me privately for the new address.

PS. I dropped all meat from my diet about a week ago now. There's been a gradual lead up where I was cutting out most meat, but the transition is pretty well complete now after one quickie McD's binge. My roommate is going to hate me when he comes home and sees all the tofu and fake meat in the freezer.