I lied...

I know I promised something funny tonight.. I lied.

I was in a fabulous mood up until a point in my evening where obviously my happy demeanour dissapated.

So herein follows my ramblings:

I'm not going to settle for something.. I did that for a year, and I kick myself every time I think about it. Settling for someone who is still mourning the loss of someone else, is bound for failure. You're only a stepping stone for them on the way back up into the world of fully-functioning human beings.

I'm not willing to accept myself as someone who's 'unloveable', and if you haven't fallen for me and got over her yet, then you might never. It's not my fault that you have a penchant for falling for ice queens, but I can't classify myself as one, so 'meant to be' seems like quite a leap.

You're right, I did accept and like you for who you were.

I can't change you, and I never wanted to, but I guess I'm partially at fault for placing a 'deadline' on this, and maybe that now seems too much like changing things.

This was all supposed to be no pressure, so I refuse to force the issue anymore.

Right now I'm just trying to rebuild and move on since I really think that might be the best thing, and I don't need you calling to ask how things are with me. They're fine.. checking here was always an option, whether you chose to take it or not. You were welcome to take the cowards way out.. it's basically why I maintain a blog.

In any case.. I won't be waiting, I refuse to be so jaded and bitter about the situation that I'm going to go into hiding, and you're welcome to take that however you want. You figure out what's best for you..

If it's me, let me know.

If it's not, let it die.