Free Falling from a Life on Hold

Wow...

Early August was my last blog entry. It seems like it wasn't that long ago, but it's amazing the changes one's life undergoes in such a short time to make it seem as though it was longer ago.
For those who know me well, or at least my style of writing, a lapse always calls for a rant, however brief, so here goes.

In 2 months I've become so disillusioned about the idea of love, and sharing my life with someone else. It's brutal to think that one person can change a diehard romantic into a paranoid and slightly jaded individual who is so utterly apprehensive about falling into love again, that she feels constantly on her guard.

It's stupid though.. why do I allow him to wield even that small amount of power over me? Maybe because it's the lesson no one wants to learn.. those you are closest to are the people with the easiest means of hurting you.

Anyway, this rant isn't completely uncalled for. After all of this bull that I had to go through with the messy split and him getting his possessions out of my house after he neglected to pay rent for the month of August, I came up with the easiest means of splitting as amicably as possible. He paid the past due rent for the month of August at the beginning of September, and I let him come in and pick up his stuff the same night within REASONABLE hours.

Well.. from all you know about this guy, obviously this didn't appeal, so the night in question, despite TWO reminder calls during the previous week, he made excuses. The next day I left on vacation and 5 days in got a rude awakening in the form of my landlord calling to inform me that he had broke into the house the previous night. Fast forward through a whole helluva lot of angst and anger, but the jerk still has things on my front lawn that he is refusing to move. Agh... why would anyone ever want a relationship if they have the capacity to morph into this??????

Anyway.. back on track now.

My vacation would have been extremely relaxing had it not been for the aforementioned phonecall. Spending time in my hometown isn't the most appealing idea, but spending time in the solitude of my parent's place is always good for a mood adjustment. I had a grand old time playing in the garden like a geriatric grandmother, and my friend Ryan was sweet enough to take me down so I could bring Summer for a nice little getaway, as well.

My.. what else had changed?

Oh.. Alex helped him break in, so it goes without saying that he moved out the day I got back from vacay. I love the basement now. The stupid kid didn't even bother to clean it before he moved. No vacuum, dusting, steamcleaning was done, so I had about a week's worth of work before it was ready for me to move in. I love the tranquility of it all, though. It's so quiet, warm and inviting, and I truly look forward to going home at the end of the day to enjoy the peace. Especially when it's morphed into a chick pad in a short period of time. But hey.. what the hell.. anyone looking to rent a room? I have 2 on November 1st. : )

Tammy's ex, Corey, finally hit the roof. After 2 months of constantly worrying about her and her little guy, Jeremy and their safety, he finally did something physical, and that was enough for us. I moved her and Jer into 2 of my upstairs bedrooms the next night. In comparison to the animosity of Wayne's 2, Jeremy is an utter angel, and sometimes I think Tammy stresses too much about what he's up to. He's a kid, and I think she's a born worrier always afraid he's going to do something and break something in the house. I've come to the realization after all this shite that stuff is stuff, and whether I have it or not, or it's broken or intact, it's not coming with me when I'm gone, and is therefore completely expendable. Except the cheese grater. He-who-shall-remain-nameless took that when he broke in and I loved that grater. :(

Work is work. Being a corporate peon does nothing for my attitude lately, especially when we're all getting a little mentally and physically burned out and disillusioned by the cult we call our company. Being positive is awesome.. but all the time is like being surrounded by a bunch of twenty-something cheerleaders. Anyway.. on that note, and in light of all the recent news stories I've read about employees being fired because their company found a blog related to them by one of their employees, and in light of the fact I'm writing this while my payroll clock is currently running, I'll take my leave.

Love and best wishes to everyone and anyone who might have missed my incessant rants and ramblings. ;)