Joe.. I miss you

I think this post may quite possibly be harder for me to write than any entry I've written in this blog thus far.

I can't deny that with the (Thank God, FINAL) loss of someone who got MORE than their fair share of mention in this blog, I've been happy, but something is lacking.

It's been over a month since I talked to someone more special and precious to me than a thousand Wayne's, and I sometimes fear that a month is not all I will go for without speaking to him. I think I hurt this wonderful human being.. in a way I can't completely comprehend but partially understand, I feel like I took this person for granted and am destined to be punished for this mistake forever.

This person was more than a friend, or a confidante or a simple lover. He was special and romantic, and what we had was simple and beautiful and I hate to think I lost it.

Joe... I miss you. I hurt everyday because you're not around and I can't just call you and hear your voice. I hurt that we wanted something which was so simple to obtain, and yet I created so many complications around it. I hurt that I turned down something you wanted more than anything in the world, without really weighing the options. I just hurt.

And it's so simple.. before, during and after Wayne, there was always you. And I love you.