Notes on Motherhood?

Oh wow...

I don't know whether to laugh, cry or bundle up in shapeless clothes COMPLETELY hiding my figure...

I had a client come in tonight.. while I'm in the process of entering his personal information into the computer system, I suppose I was quieter than he was used to because he kept breaking in with small talk. Commenting on the song playing on the radio, asking when we changed our name, etc.. and then the kicker 'So when are you due?'.

My jaw hits the floor, I feel my face flush inevitably the deepest shade of red possible, sit stark upright in my chair and subconsciously touch my tummy.

I stutter. "I-I-I'm not!", trying not to sound too indignant, but certainly coming across as highly offended and embarrased, and contemplating the potential problems that situation would cause between me and my 'fixed' boyfriend.

Then it hits me.. if I've put on enough weight that some strange young twenty-something guy will comment on my 'due date', how much weight do I appear to have put on when it comes to the people closest to me?

I know weight is an issue for all women, and that most of them struggle with it all their lives.. it's inevitable. It's like all woman are born, and at the moment they first appear, screaming defiantly at the world, "Damn It, I'm cold!!!", BOOM, they're cursed to hate their bodies, and gain 35 lbs. if they eat a piece of cheesecake thicker than a piece of looseleaf.

Curves are great.. let's not deny that.. but if we continue calling all women that have a nice rack and the same size waist as most 14 year olds today, curvy, we're going to be a society of slightly overweight, but extremely unhappy women striving for a body that only exists between the pages of Cosmo.

If someone who's in for hibernation (ok.. so it's a bad excuse, but Bears do it!) packs on a few extra pounds accidentally as winter hits (BTW.. you try jogging when your breath literally freezes in your throat and the traction is about as great as at the local ice rink on sidewalks everywhere!), and some guy who's never met her from atom guesstimates her to be around 4 months preggo, that's a tad depressing.

Anyone else ever been asked this? What plastic surgeon did you refer the person to after you broke their nose in 3 places?